The Diary of Astrið Aleksdóttir
Character Name: Astrið Aleksdóttir
Date of Birth (age): 14th April 1881 (21)
Birthplace: Eiði, Føroyar (Faroe Islands)
Portrayed by: Hibblejaybob
Server: WildRP
Game: RedM / Red Dead Redemption 2
Server Theme: Wild West
Bio: Astrið Aleksdóttir, is young girl from a small village in the Faroe Islands. Astrið's mother passed away and with her father being killed in combat, she was left with no family and no roots in either of the countries she grew up in. She came to America in search of her fathers friends, who looked after her as she settled into life in America and became a clinician, practicing medicine. After a year home in Føryar, Astrið returns to America...
This diary is provided as a form of entertainment, its contents must not be used as a basis for in-game information that your character should not know. If you are caught doing this, you will be reported for FailRP (a bannable offence)
Astrið Aleksdóttir is an 20 year old Faroese girl. Her farther, Major Alexander Stevenson was a Scottish Cavalry Officer and served with Captain James McKay, Lt. James MacLeod, Lt. Elijah Dowding, Padre Johnathon Bell, Sergeant Ramsey Rivers and Sergeant Medic Amelia Knightbridge.
5 years ago in a battle in Africa, Major Stevenson and Lt. MacLeod were heavily injured and Sgt Medic Knightbridge chose to save MacLeod, who lost his eye and had massive scarring, while leaving Maj Stevenson to die.
Astrið, who grew up between Scotland (when Dad was home from fighting) and Eiði on the Faroe Islands, then moved permanently to the Faroe Islands, where she assisted her mother, Heiðvør Svensdóttir who was the nurse for the remote village. In 1899, following a short illness, Heiðvør died.
In Faroe Islands, Eiði is a tiny village on the north, numbering only 100 to 200 people. Not many people her age lived there so she lacked social interaction with her peers and is a bit emotionally immature as a result. Due to the lack of things to do in such a small village, she mainly helped her Mum with organising her medical clinic and simple medical tasks when needed. Otherwise, she mostly played card games with the adults for fun and went out on the boats fishing from time to time. Due to the lack of roads, she is a keen boater, as that is the main way of travelling.
Due to the necessity to travel by boat in Faroe Islands and not being allowed out much in Scotland, she never travelled by horse and is in fact scared of them as she never encountered many of them growing up. She also never encountered firearms or gunfire growing up and was terrified of them too.
Given she had travelled so much growing up, Astrið had little roots in either the Faroe Islands or Scotland. She remembered her father's words that if she ever needed help or anything at all, to seek out the good men he served with in his Army days. She contacted MacLeod's family and heard they had moved to America, to Saint Denis, so she used her remaining money to buy passage on a boat to America.
On the boat ride over the Atlantic, she accidently took a wrong turn and walked into the 1st class areas. She found a lady who, instead of berating her, befriended her for the journey. Lady Elizabeth Chester: an adventurer at heart, she was excited for Astrið starting a new adventure and suggested that she keep a diary. She even gave Astrið a blank notebook from her own possessions to get started with a diary of her own!
Eventually, she made it to America and continued West by train, before completing the journey to Saint Denis by ferry. Arriving, she used the telegram number she had been given by James MacLeod’s relatives to made contact with him, not realising he had now moved to The Five Territories, to the West of Saints Crossing.
Travelling again, she met up with them and got to settling into life in America. She joined the Five Territories Medical Department and quickly became a well respected clinician - with a particular interest in pharmacology and clinical medicine.
During her medical training, she met a young native girl called Miree. The two grew close, becoming good friends and sharing each others company. Eventually, Miree's adoptive sister Mika let slip Miree was interested in Astrið, and it wasn't long before the two became a couple.
Following a wolf attack that left her horse, Rabbit, dead, and with Miree having left The Five Territories to reconnect with her tribe a homesick Astrið returned to Føryar to travel the islands and continue studying and practicing her clinical skills. Nearly one year later, she used her money to return to America, arriving, as she did before, in Saint Denis.

Oh, how times have changed: I see the Saints Crossing Department of Health (SCDH) is looking for staff. I might head down to the doctors office here and see if I can't find someone there I could enquire with.

I know how to treat this, but unfortunately, I was licenced in The Five Territories, West of here, I'm not licenced in Saints Crossing. With a sheriff standing over me and a doctor on the way, I'm best to keep the patient stable and not get into trouble!

Once the man was back on his feet, we spoke in the doctors office. She gave me the telegram number of the Director of the SCDH, and I made off to the telegram office to offer my services!

I kept my eye on him as he staggered around the tables for a few minutes before heading back outside - thank goodness!

After checking the mailbox in vain that the SCDH had got back to me, I started heading back to the saloon when, as luck would have it, a familiar face appeared across the street - Mr Leon Buckley!

He walked with me back into the Saint Denis and stopped to talk to a man he thought was a Sheriff, but was just a civilian - I wonder if he also hasn't been in Saints Crossing long, that seems a peculiar mistake to make...

He had commissioned the gunsmiths to make me a "snub nose" revolver (at least that's what I think he called it) - one small enough to fit inside my vest!
It was so kind of him! Over $200 he spent on that, for me.

Mr Buckley had to get back to his duties, so I rented a cart and returned to the city to do some shopping, while Leon headed out of Saint Denis.

He was from Stirling, North East from Edinburgh, and he made me laugh with some of the stories he told. He was a delightful gentleman - I so regret I never caught his name...

Valentine is closest, so I'll follow the roads and head there first.

I wonder what ever became of him?
I visited Hal's grave... A man I hardly knew, but had an impact on the woman I have become. The first person to die under my care... My first reminder that I can't save everyone...

The grasslands leaving Blackwater gives great views all round - the towering mountains in the distance, the forests, the lake - Oh I forgot how pretty this country can be, when you get out of the towns!

They were standing at the Sheriff's office, watching over the town and waiting for something to happen. Seems like it might be a quiet day for them.
After an hour or so, they mounted their horses and headed out on patrol around New Hanover.

Only it wasn't like any other, and we both knew it - in unison we whipped round to face each other. It was Matthew! Matthew Isaiah.
Oh it's been so long since I've seen him - not since I left America. He's no longer working with the law, I'm not sure what he's working as exactly - but it's good to see him!

She didn't say it to me, but she shouted at some of the lawmen when Mr Buckley had left that they were letting me stand on the porch and that was not allowed. I do hope I get a chance to clear the air with her someday.

When the farmhands weren't looking, I quickly peeled one and ate it. A bit naughty of me, but in the Lemoyne heat, I felt it was reasonable. It was pretty tasty too!

Then Matthew piped up..... Oh Matthew.... "She's such a good doctor", "She looked after me so well before", "She did a great job removing my eye". Dammit Matthew, I know you meant well, but I was completely mortified!
This is a new team, I need to make a good first impressions. Oh god, I really hope Dr Atwood doesn't think I'm some egotistical idiot that's paid him to say that.....

The moon was cutting trough the night time fog. Mr Isaiah told me he had got married - that's wonderful news!
After a full day traipsing the length and breadth of Saints Crossing, I was ready for bed!


It was absolutely pouring with rain, but I was conscious of Sheriff Lewis' warning to the deputies about me on the porch before. I asked Leon if we could kindly let me stand on the porch, under the canopy and out the rain. He smiled and nodded.

We were reminiscing about the past - a year ago, when I was last in America.
Last time I saw him, he gave me $200 to buy into a poker tournament in Saint Denis, and I fleeced a man for over $400 - walked away with a very tidy sum! Haha, oh that was a good day...

Imagine that! Gone are the days you'd have to run to Sheriff's office, or god forbid if you were out of town, you'd have to send a rider to the next town to get help. Now we can do that, or head to the nearest telegram office. Incredible!

He had to head away on his rounds, and I had to get to bed, but I look forward to chatting more with him!
And of course Mr Buckley, Leon, kind enough to keep me company all of the day - was very sweet of him!

They were both so lovely and energetic, it was a refreshing change of pace from most of the people I've met here so far.
I've heard of Deputy Thorne before - Tabitha. Leon mentioned they were Cadets together, back when the started in the Sheriff's Department.

Mr Woodson had a large gaping injury on his arm. I washed it out as best I could and packed it with gauze and then bandaged to keep it secure. I also treated a wound on his shoulder.

He offered to pay me for my help - I blushed. I didn't know what to do. I explained that I had applied for training but was waiting to hear back, so wasn't technically a part of the Saints Crossing Department of Health. "Oh" he said, before wandering off to find his friend.

Truth be told, I'm a little fearful of her. She has always seemed rather short around me - not necessarily angry with me, but no time for me, no time for us to get to know each other. As the SCDH doctor I've known the longest, I'd be lying if I said I felt that I wasn't worried about fitting in with them.

There seemed to be some protest outside the sheriff's office. "Free out Guppy" they were chanting - raising their fishing rods in the air. I had to stand and observe them - from a distance, of course.
Eventually, however, someone loudly announced the person they were there for had been "sent to Siska". I'm not sure what that is, but the crowd dispersed almost immediately afterwards, and I headed to bed.

I'm a little rusty on how healthcare works in this country, so I didn't quite understand, but these are questions for later - I haven't even started with the SCDH myself yet!

When we go their, another rider I hadn't noticed before had been following us, got off their horse and watched us from behind a tree.
Cautious, I stayed on Leon's horse and he drew his gun, just in case the person's intentions were unkind...

Possibly for the best... My memory of the bible in English is..... poor.... But I will correct that!


As we awaited her return, a plethora of people came through the town, stopping to talk briefly. I..... couldn't keep up with so many people!

Felt.... rather strange to be honest. But, with suture needles prepared, I sutured the muscle back together with an s-pattern suture, then closed the exit wound with an intermittent plus retention suture and the entry with a five-point retention suture.
Helping the patient back to his feet, oh I'm so glad to be back practicing medicine! Too long in this country spent picking oranges and idling my time.

The lady was more significantly injured than the man, with a through and through gunshot wound to the chest. As I was treating her, eventually Dr. Trix and medic Elanor turned up to assist and we got all 3 patients treated and back to their feet.

Our first stop was a place called Annesburg - A mining village north of Saint Denis. I'm not sure I like the place, what with the many buildings spewing thick black smoke - reminds me of the industrial quarter of Saint Denis which, I must confess, also makes me uncomfortable.

On the way back down, which involved going down a steep trail, poor Dr Lytton went pale as a sheet - I think she might be afraid of heights. Dr Smith had to head back up the trail and help her down.

Mr Mato told me to ask the others if they needed help and Dr MacKenna asked me to leave her tent, so I headed back to the office where I found Dr Sullivan dealing with a delirious patient.


However, the other day Dr Smith had suggested I speak to Dr Atwood about horses. I have been wanting to get back into riding, but I know next to nothing about horses. Dr Smith mentioned Dr Atwood rears horses and would be good to speak to for advice.
I spoke with her about it and she gave me some suggestions which seemed good. I noted the information down and would head to the stables another time.


Mr Kramer was easily identified. The birthday man himself was wearing the loudest, bright pink clothing I've ever seen in my life!

With the exception of me, who was invited late and Mr Kramer, who's birthday it was, everyone was in the same, unusual outfits.
A rider on his way to Valentine stopped by and his reaction was hilarious. He must have felt like someone had slipped some hallucinogenic in his coffee!

He explained his side of the story to the officers then asked "Can I shoot him?". Somewhat in disbelief, they told him no, and he carried on his business.

She was just..... standing..... in the road, with her horse next to her. I stopped and asked her if she needed any help, she said she was ok, so I carried on my way.

I thought about heading to the telegram office to put out a call for help, but then I remembered how that went for me at the start of 1900.....

I accidentally my mentioned my involvement with The Bastard's bank robbery back in the Five Territories. I hope that doesn't come back to bite me, although as Hummingbird says, different state, and jurisdiction doesn't carry over.
At the end of our travels, we bumped into Mr Mato in Blackwater where we stopped and chatted for a while.

He called me Dr Aleksdóttir - the first person in The Crossing to do so. I explained that although I have earned that title, because I am not on the medical board here, I have been avoiding it - however, he was most insistent in calling me doctor!

I can't believe it, she's giving The Crossing's medical provision to me to handle. I've never felt that Dr Atwood particularly likes me, but she must respect what the other clinicians have said about me.
She did say she is available if anything is too serious.

I mounted Myrkur and headed down to Blackwater to see who was around.


But my difficulties aside, Dr Smith seemed impressed. I cleaned the wound, clamped the artery, removed the bullet, repaired the artery, the muscle and the skin, keeping the wound clean each step of the way. Satisfied with my knowledge of dealing with acute injuries, he got to his feet and headed off to check telegrams.



Not wanting to leave him without medical supervision, Dr Smith and Dr Atwood arranged a wagon and set off for Saint Denis with the man to ensure he gets back there safely.

I might actually need to ask Dr Smith about that, if we get some time alone.


His eyebrows raised, interested. He was very impressed! He said in time, once I had my qualification from the state, I might even be able to distribute the textbook! That would be exciting!

Calvin explained to me that there was a shop, hidden away behind the market stalls, that you can get a variety of oddities including a large notebook more than twice the size of the ones you can get in the general store. Oh yes, that would be perfect!
The marketplace is beautiful at night – all the lights hanging over the stalls. Saint Denis in general is very pretty during the night time!

In time, the situation calmed a little, and Margerie went inside the office to sit next to one of the injured people – evidently someone she knows.

I must admit, getting to soak away the stresses of The Crossing sure feels good when you get the chance to!

We helped her to sitting and let her collect her breath while she waited on someone to come to Strawberry to get her home safely.

While it does lack some of amenities that larger towns do, I do think this is one of the most beautiful places in Saint’s Crossing.

He made polite introductions and pointed out if I ever needed anything, I could let him know and he would gladly assist. Brief introductions made, Sheriff Cash turned in his badge for the night and left the street to go to bed, leaving Calvin and I.

He reassured me that it’s not me in particular, it’s just because I’m a new face to her, an unknown. In time, she’ll warm up to me.

I think…. I think someone ran into me….. Yes, then he got angry. I tried to talk to him, then I just remember the flash of his revolver…. The pain….. My arm!
I have no idea how long I was on the ground floor, eventually I head horses. I recognised the voice shouting after me – It was Dr Atwood! She took me back to Valentine and did surgery on my wounds. I barely remember anything from it!


Filled with worry, she looked at my bandaged arm, my pale complexion. She’s never seen me injured like this before. I didn’t even know she was in Saints Crossing, let alone Valentine – but here she is, in front of me. I would reach over and hug her – if my arm didn’t hurt like hell!

She left The Five Territories to try to and find out about her tribe, where they were or at least what happened to them. After a year of meandering eastwards, she too found herself in Saints’ Crossing.

Oh what a bittersweet day this is. First I get shot, within minutes of waking up. Then I see Miree for the first time in 14 months. Now I’ve got the news that I passed my training with the Department of Health!

I suppose I should probably check as well – his telegram doesn’t say if I’ll retain my title of Doctor or if I’ve been accepted as a medic. I telegrammed him to clear that up.

Her eyes lit up, she wanted to see them! We finished exploring Blackwater then set off for Saint Denis.


Giggling to ourselves, we spent a good while trying to make the shapes of various animals on the screen. But alas, the manager came in to get ready for the next screening and surprised to find anyone still at the cinema – let alone two young women, giggling like little girls – he asked us to leave.

God I don’t even want to think about that day. I saved her then, and I have her back now, that’s what’s important!


I finished getting myself dressed and headed out of my room. Miree was waiting for me in the sitting room downstairs. Sharing a smile with each other, we set off down the street to check telegrams.

Mr Mato’s eyes widened in recognition when I introduced Miree to him. Of course, I’d spoken to him a lot about Miree before, about her being my partner, about her search for her tribe. With hardly a second wasted, he turned to the group and called them over, proudly introducing them to Miree. As Mr Mato is chief of the Wapiti tribe, he introduced the others as the chiefs of their respective tribes across Saints Crossing.
With the warmest welcome unlike anything I’ve ever seen in Saints Crossing, the chiefs surrounded Miree, welcoming her, making introductions and offering their support to her.

Although I was familiar with Mr Mato enough to be comfortable, Miree stood in a stunned silence, her eyes wide in awe. Never did she imagine she’s get a welcoming invite from a chief of a tribe, let alone to meet all of the chiefs of the tribes of this area and have them be so, so excited to meet her.




Miree and I found a little corner of the cliffside to ourselves and made ourselves at home – the fireworks wouldn’t be until nightfall anyway.




We smiled, now getting a much better fireworks show than we did earlier – it seems this was a good spot after all!

He explained a bit more about this celebration. The 4th of July is Independence Day, where America gained its independence from the United Kingdom. This got me thinking about my home….. The Faroe Islands is part of the Kingdom of Denmark, despite us being so very far away from Denmark – as is Iceland, as is Greenland. Will we ever see your independence?


I must confess to feeling a bit insulted at this. I know that Dr Smith is on my side with this, but I wonder who else in the department is taking exception to me? And why!? Is the because I’m young? Is it because I am a newcomer to the department?
The bulk of the reason, Dr Smith suggests, is there is ambiguity over the level of my medical training. I wrote him back explaining I not only studied my doctorate, but lectured in medicine at the same university as well. I will see what he says, but just now – rest!

Medicine has come a long way, but still it is all too easy to pick up an infection from careless care. And, I’ve never been shot before. Sure, I’ve looked after people who have, but it’s very different when you’re experiencing it on your own person!
As Miree finished neatly bandaging my arm, we got dressed for bed and got our heads down for some rest.
Ah, you caught me, I've not started this section yet!

After some time at sea, an island of green became visible on the horizon, its tall mountains standing proud among the flatness of the water. The mooring lines were cast - we had arrived at Guarma!

If you want to communicate with someone, you either have to meet them or write them a letter!

From the outskirts of the city, the abundant green of the island could be seen, the palm trees lining the hills and mountains surrounding us.

The fortress, the castle - I've heard it called various things, but regardless of it's name, this imposing landmark stands tall among a rocky outcrop, visible to almost the entirety of the west coast of Guarma.

Mr Kai and I stopped dead in our tracks. Through my binoculars, I could see men running along the hill leading to the castle, guns pointed upwards, the men shooting into the air.

We headed south, then southwest through the tree line until we picked up the path south, taking us up the mountain to the Doctor's cabin.
The side of the mountain offered great views of the bay, the fortress and the town - and a welcome reprieve from the jungle!

Pretty flowers, stunning views. I would almost be tempted to enquire about staying - if I thought for a minute I could get used to this sweltering heat!

Mr Kai, Cecily, myself and another man who I didn't recognise stopped to chat on the bridge, cannon fire erupted from the fortress. This time I was so close I could see the fire of the cannon firing off. Two shots rang out over our heads and we all ran.
Once clear of the fortress, Cecily ran off after Mr Kettleman and his group, and Mr Kai stopped and said he needed to speak to a "Mr Vasquez" and someone called "Bailey". Mr Kai told me to follow Cecily.

We caught up to the group. It was Jack Kettleman himself, a woman I didn't recognise, and Cecily. Jack and the other man exchanged pleasantries briefly, while I stood next to Cecily. I honestly don't remember much of the conversation, but at one point Cecily said my name, and hell broke loose.
Jack turned to me and practically yelled with surprise: "Astrið?!?". He asked if I was the doctor that saved Pip, I confirmed that I was. At that his eyes widened, he sent the other man away and told me to follow him.
My heart was in my mouth. What could Jack Kettleman want with me now? Had Cecily told him I was coming? I knew she had feeling for Jack, but Christ, how deep does this go? Where is he taking me? Oh god, what's about to happen?
He led us through the jungle to the remains of a ruined church. There were seats arranged and boxes dotted around the place - seems this might be where the Kettleman's are making their home on Guarma. Next to an old fountain, he told me to take a seat. I did, but much to my alarm, none of the rest of them took a seat with me......

At that, he pointed out that island would need a physician to tend to the islanders, and asked if I would want to fill that position. I was scared. It's an enticing prospect, helping a place recover, but I've built a life for myself back in Saint's Crossing. And yet, if I refuse, will he try and force me? Will he hurt me?
I told him I'd think about it, to which he seemed content. And then I did the most stupid thing I've ever done in my life. Oh Astrið, you silly, silly girl. I don't even remember exactly what I said, just that I challenged him about the hostage taking of Dovie Parker and Eleanor Cain, and the effect it had on them.
That was a mistake..... His eyes lit up again, and suddenly he had another request of me. Now knowing that I know both Dovie and Eleanor, he wanted me to go back to The Crossing for him, and bring them to him. He explained he didn't want to hurt them, more that he was so horrified that the law were going to let them die just so they could catch the Kettlemans that he wanted to pass on his personal thoughts to him - but I wasn't allowed to tell them this: he said it would be a big sign of respect to him if they would meet him without being told why.
I explained to him that I could go back to The Crossing and *ask* them if they would come, but I couldn't force them. At this, his expression dropped. He leaned in towards me and explained that it was "in the best interest of my health and wellbeing" to be successful in this task. I looked at my feet - it was clear to me he was telling me I would be hurt if I didn't bring them to him.....

I left, and made my way back to the port town alone. When I arrived, I found Mr Kai speaking with a man who introduced himself as Herbie. They chatted away, all while my hands were shaking, my eyes filled with tears as I desperately tried to keep a lid on my emotions.
Eventually Mr Herbie left us, and I confided in Mr Kai that I'd met with the Kettlemans, and had been threatened into doing some favours for him. Mr Kai had a guilty expression on his face, clearly pained at having brought me here.
My emotions got the better of me, and I collapsed to my knees - crying, struggling to catch my breath - terrified about where all this will lead. Or even if I'll survive it at all.....
This could all get dangerous if it gets out. I composed myself and turned to Mr Kai, and asked him to promise me that he wouldn't tell a soul about what I just told him. He looked me dead in the eye and promised me.

With his gun still out he gave us a warning about the Kettleman's and their propensity for kidnap. I explained this was a fact I already knew, telling Vasquez about the Kettleman's kidnapping me to work on Pip. He asked if they hurt me, I told him no, they needed me alive and well to save him.

He asked about a "Deputy Marshal Munroe", a name I've heard in passing back in The Crossing. Captain Vasquez explained that he knows Munroe, and he wants me to go back to The Crossing for him and telegram Munroe to come to Guarma to take care of Jack Kettleman - something that would be of mutual benefit for both of them.
He said if we did this for him, he would look upon that act very favourably. I thought about, but I don't think I can... For all the Kettleman's that are supposedly here, where are they? Where's Mills? Where's Pip? What if I were to go back to The Crossing, after telling Jack I'd stay at the port until he meets me, only to find his men waiting for me in Annesburg?
No, if I betray Jack, he and his men will hunt me wherever I go. The law couldn't save my being kidnapped before, nor Dovie, nor Eleanor. I'd be on my own against his onslaught, wherever I tried to hide. On the other hand, I've never heard of any of the Guarma Militia operating in The Crossing - they have their hands tied up here. Seems my choice is clear.

I looked at him with teary eyes - in that moment I so, so wanted his help - wanted as much help as I could get. But... If Vasquez fails... I just can't take the risk... I told him it wasn't in my best interests to explain to him why. He lowered his head and said he understands.
Without missing a beat, Mr Vasquez lifts his head and turns to Mr Kai, now asking him to go to The Crossing for this favour. Mr Kai agrees in principle, but explains he's looking for someone by the name of "Gideon", which may delay his departure. Vasquez instead offers that he'll keep Gideon safe at the fortress until Mr Kai returns.
Mr Kai agrees and asks for a letter to give to Deputy Munroe. Mr Vasquez instantly rejects this, saying he doesn't want Kai to be caught with anything that may compromise Kai or Vasquez - seems Mr Vasquez has similar concerns to me that the other Kettleman's might be waiting at the other end.
Instead, he spoke out the message for Mr Kai: "I want you to telegram law, that I, Alexander Vasquez - leader of the militia in Guarma, is looking for Senior Deputy Munroe or another senior deputy. The Kettlemans are here, and is in both of our interests to take care of this man."

After all, if I go back and get Dovie and Eleanor, I won't harm them. I could never. But if I don't go, and Mr Kettleman sends his men instead. Well, they're going to be much less likely to take no for an answer and let them away unharmed.
Vasquez tried to reassure me I'll be safe on Guarma. He explained that all the cannon fire we heard earlier was a call to arms: it was Captain Vasquez calling the militia to arms.
He gave me a warning. He told me that if he caught me with Jack Kettleman, or causing trouble for Jack Kettleman, he'd declare me an enemy of the militia, and I'd suffer the consequences of that - which would be very, very bad.

Mr Kai says he'll need to speak to Cecily about her relationship with Jack. Ultimately she's the whole reason I'm here on Guarma.
I confessed that I hope Vasquez wins. If I keep complying with Jack's demands, then myself and Dovie and Eleanor should be safe - if Jack keeps his word. Meanwhile Kai will comply with Vasquez's request to get the law. Hopefully they arrive and put a stop to this so ultimately I don't have to bring Dovie or Eleanor to Guarma, and Mr Kai and I are free to leave.
He agreed that would be the ideal outcome. I asked him if he would take a letter for me, to be given to a friend. I was going to write to Leon, to let him know that I was in trouble. But then I stopped and thought about it. It's Leon... If he finds out, he'll come here for sure. Mr Kettleman would know I contacted someone - a deputy no less - Leon and I, and probably Dovie and Eleanor too, would be right in Jack's crosshairs. No.... I can't risk that....
I told Mr Kai that I couldn't send the letter and that he wasn't to let anyone know I was here. He was clearly dismayed, but agreed. He turned and boarded the boat back to Saint's Crossing.

I wrote a letter in the very back of my journal for Leon. Hopefully, if something does happen to me, someone picks up my journal and this letter gets to him. I don't know what good it will do. If this all goes wrong, I can only imagine in horror the things they will say about me...

The minutes turned to hours and there was still no sign of Jack Kettleman. I wonder if Vasquez's presence in the town made him second guess coming to speak to me today...

It's funny how navigating Guarma at night is almost easier than at daytime. Once the militia lights the torches, you can see your path for hundreds of meters!

She asked if I was going to be ok relaying Jack's messages to The Crossing, and offering to do it instead. I gave it some thought, but decided it would still be best if I did it. After all, Dovie and Eleanor know me, and if I can convince them of the situation then no-one gets hurt. Cecily seems a kind soul, but I still don't know her that well, and I'm not sure she knows Dovie or Eleanor - the risk of a confrontation is much higher.
And then, if I hand it over to Cecily, will Jack Kettleman confront me about why? No, it's just not worth the risk.

Mr Herbie assured me we weren't going far. After all, there was no sign of Mr Kettleman anywhere, no-one had seen him or his people all day - no messages for me, nothing. It should be fine.
He took us up the hill and through "the village" - where the workers of the farms live. On the other side of the plantation was a large stone compound, each entrance closed over with big metal gates. A large building sits in the centre.

He guided us towards what appeared to be a ruined tower. Around back of the main building there were a collection of cages. Big cages. Big enough for a fully grown adult.....
With that thought, I followed Mr Herbie just a little bit closer.....

In the tunnel there was signs of excavation abandoned long ago, possibly when the tower was ruined. Alarmingly there was also a large mettle cage - big enough to hold maybe 20 people. No gate in or out - it's either there to keep people in or keeping people away from something..... I'm just going to keep following Mr Herbie!

We peered down a deep crevasse - the light from Herbie's lantern failing to illuminate the bottom. He warned us that no-one knows where these crevasses go, only that everyone who has gone down has never been seen again.

Mr Herbie wanted to show me something else. I was worried about being away from the town for this long, but he assured me it wasn't any further away than the trading post.

It's pretty distinctive - the saloon sign is adorned with a taxidermy coyote with a cigar sticking out it's mouth!

I peered out over the edge. Below us, across from the river, was the compound we just came from - lit up in the dark. Behind it, the fortress rises out of the ocean. Certainly an interesting place this, but I really need to get back to town, and so we set off.

He returned and with an hint of panic in his voice, he stated we needed to find Vasquez and fast. He explained that the group with their masks up were lawmen from Saints Crossing and they were saying they were here to take Jack Kettleman back. Oh my god, I can’t believe they’ve responded to Mr Kai’s request so quickly!
Herbie was just in the process of splitting the group to search the compound and the fortress for Captain Vasquez, when there was an eruption of cannon fire from the fortress. JJ, Herbie and I ran for the fortress – the heads of the militia were clearly there.

My eyes widened as Vaquez loudly and proudly announced to the group: “no, no no, no-one removes anyone from this island without my permission”. Did…… Did he just lie to everyone here? He did, after all, summon for the law yesterday. I bit my tongue as Miss JJ and Mr Herbie ran off back to the situation further down the beach, while the rest of us continued walking.

I didn’t understand his words. Well, I did, but not the message behind them. Did Vasquez forget that I was there? He didn’t just summon the law, he specifically summoned the law for the express purpose of “dealing with Jack Kettleman”. Why the deceit? Why these games? What is Vasquez up to?
Vasquez and Cecily ran off down the beach towards the situation, Damascus stating he’ll just walk – that there’s no need for him to work himself into a sweat for no reason. I said this whole thing is a bit of a mess. Mr Damascus replied that he’s used to messes, although confessed he’s usually the one causing them. I noticed he said that while proudly wielding his machete in his hands.

Cecily was becoming increasingly irate at the situation. She began pacing backwards and forwards up and down the beach, trying to release of the anxious energy that was building up. She was clearly worried about what was going to happen on the island. She’s another one I can’t figure out what her plan is. She clearly has feelings for Jack Kettleman, but there she was running off alone to Vasquez before Herbie, JJ and I got there. What truly is her stake in all this?

After a while longer, the hand rose up again, and Jack and the other Kettlemans were ordered away from the beach. Calmly, they walked off and disappeared into the treeline heading South. Vasquez and Damascus rounded up the deputies and began walking towards the fortress.
Interestingly, Cecily began walking after Vasquez, not the Kettlemans. Herbie immediately pointed out that this was serious and she wouldn’t be allowed up in the fortress with the militia. Cecily protested briefly, to which Herbie responded that she is already worried about whether Vasquez likes her or not, if he has to send her away from the fortress now, it will be very bad for Cecily.

I ran as fast I could, focusing desperately on her white shirt in the distance as she rounded the corner into the town. I followed her through the town when suddenly she cut right into the fields and at that point it was just impossible. Exhausted, I caught my breath. Where could she go? Back to the Kettlemans? They headed south from here, Cecily ran north. Well, it’s the only lead I’ve got.

I precariously made my way down more questionable scaffolding and carefully approached the arena. I announced my presence and asked if I could approach. Jack Kettleman’s distinctive voice boomed out from within the walls.

I reassured him that I did not, that I’ve been waiting for him, checking in at the port town as he instructed for any sign of him or a message that he left. “Well, Cecily ain’t here and we’re busy talking” Jack said, his tone clear that he wanted me gone as quickly as possible. But I’m worried about what she might do. “She’s panicked Jack, she was saying strange things before she ran off” I replied to him. With an eyebrow raised, Jack asked what she had said.
I recounted her panicked words to him, how she said she was going to fight the people that were on the beach – the people that had come to take the Kettlemans away.

I asked Jack if Vasquez has explained anything about that happened. Not taking that as an idle question, Jack straight away boomed out, asking what I meant by that. Oh god, what can I say here? He’s seen right through me, he knows I know more than I’m letting on. Trying to find a form of words to not get me in trouble, I simply told him that Vasquez had told me different things today than he did previously.

He words were softer than normal, obviously trying to reassure me. But his face failed to hide his powerful emotions. Tense and terrified I realised I have no choice now. With the others in his group intently watching on, I explained that Vasquez had asked me to go back to Saints Crossing for him and contact the law to get them here.
The weight of those words hit home straight away. All of their expressions dropped. Mills clenched his jaw, and I could spot Alice’s frown from underneath her hat. Jack told me to leave the arena for a minute. As I walked away to the cliffside, I could hear their hushed murmurings as they discussed what I had told them.

He asked me to recite what the message Vasquez asked me to pass on was – exactly. I recalled the message as best I could: that Vasquez wanted to get a message to Deputy Marshal Munroe or another Marshal that Vasquez wants to meet with him, “because the Kettlemans are on Guarma, and it’s in both of their interests to take care of that man”
A stunned silence followed my words. Pip told me that I need to keep this conversation with them to myself. With a quick thanks, Jack then sent me away – stressing the importance that I don’t get caught with them. Just like that, I turned around and took my terrified steps away from the arena.

So many people could be killed. I have to tell Vasquez! I have to let him be prepared for this shitstorm, this war I’ve brought to his doorstep. Oh god, but he’ll be furious….. If he doesn’t kill me, the Kettlemans surely will. What do I do? I couldn’t help but cry. I’ve fucked up – worse than I think I ever have in my life before now.

Cecily knows both Jack and Vasquez much better than I, maybe she can give me some insight of what to do? Oh, but what if she goes straight to Jack? She does seem to love him….. Oh god can I even tell her? I don’t even remember what happened next….. I think…. I just got more and more upset, then distressed, then overwhelmed. Crying my eyes out, I turned to her and said that my life might be in danger and I need her help in making a decision.
She stopped me dead and snapped that this was something I had do on my own, that I can put this on her, before turning around and walking off. I stood there stunned, tears still streaming down my cheeks, but she was right – I’ve got myself into this mess, the next steps are my own. Even if it costs me my life……

Mr Kai and I set off all across central and southern Guarma looking for Captain Vasquez. But to my distress, we couldn’t find him. Kai, still tired from the boat ride over, had to lay down to rest, and on my own I started to calm down. My mind, still racing, started to become a little more ordered.

My actions have already set things into motion, things I cannot undo. Sure I can tell Vasquez, but that only increases the chances of war between them – there’s nothing I can do now that’s going to diffuse the tensions between them. So then is it the right thing to tell Vasquez? Well, after all, Vasquez was trying to use underhanded tactics, calling in the law to air his dirty laundry for him. Jack Kettleman is certainly no saint, but I don’t know Vasquez – what if I hand ammunition back to another monster?
Ok, so if it’s not about stopping a war – because I can’t, and if it’s not about the person, then what’s left? Me… I’m left… Well, in that case, Jack already knows what I told him – if Vasquez ever finds out then I might be tracked down and hurt him. Whereas if I tell Vasquez now, then he’s either going to shoot me there and then, or eventually Jack will find out and Jack will get me – either way, I catch a bullet. So if I tell Vasquez, I’m guaranteed to get hurt, but if I DON’T, then there’s a chance that things could be alright.
Ok…. That’s the decision… It wasn’t out intention, but nevertheless we’ve set things into motion. We can only do more harm by trying to undo those things, so it’s time to stand by those decisions – for better or worse!

First time I saw him, it was in the Strawberry doctor's office and he was pointing a gun at Mr Tahoma. But here he seems...... different.....

We stumbled upon numerous camps around the beaches and jungles. This one had a bunch of bird cages and supplies. Maybe a trapper or hunter of the tropical birds around here?

I called out his name, but he just seemed completely lost in the orb. I started to get worried, but after a few minutes he came to and wandered off like nothing happened.

Atop a hill there looked to be a structure, so we headed towards it. On the way there, there was a rather ominous looking scarecrow made of sticks and sack that creeped us out a little.

Mr Kuniklo couldn't help himself and set off one of the explosives. Unfortunately, he'd been standing too close and made himself go deaf for a few minutes!

The 4th bullet also deflected, but not a second later he dropped to the floor, concussed and with ringing in his ears. We left him to recover in the port town.

Captain Vasquez said it best: for every one thing said, two conversations were taking place. Kuniklo asked me after we were done what I thought of what he said and what his true intentions were.

The truth is, all the calamity of the past few days, the stress, the pressure: his calming influence today has been very grounding. He's been very sweet. To think, the man that I met when he pointed a gun at my head...

It's funny to think, I could tell him everything, right here, right now, and get myself to safety. But that chat with Bailey has resonated with me. I'm done running. I'm done being prey. I've made my choice and I'm sticking with it, for better or worse.
Instead, I simple said that I hope all that bad business from yesterday has sorted itself out, which he said it had...

He told me that everything about him is true. All the murders, all the families he's destroyed, all of it is true. I'm not sure if he was trying to intimidate me or just try to make sure I wasn't unaware of exactly who he is.

I didn't need to think about it... My price was is the whole reason I've done everything I have... I want the people that I care about to be safe. Here and in the crossing.
I don't think Jack could quite believe what I was saying.
Why.......
It's a question I've asked myself a lot all day, I figure I should try and collect my thoughts. If you've found this, it probably mean's I've been killed. What I don't know in writing this is who will have done it..... Was it the Kettleman Gang? The Guarma Militia? The Saints Crossing Sheriff Department? Hell, by the end of tomorrow, the medical department and probably half the crossing will be out for my head.....
I only hope that in my death, you can forgive me. Although if I don't get the chance to explain my actions, I expect the imagination of those in the crossing will run wild, and I might be a bigger demon than Jack Kettleman himself for all I know..... I guess this letter, if it is ever found, is my trying to explain things from my side.
I'm trapped..... I came to Guarma a few days ago for a "holiday" with Miss Cecily Caldwell. I should have known she was dirty.... I even called her out on it...... But no, little happy, forgiving Astrið took her words at face value, and I went across to Guarma with Mr Kai.
After a lovely day of exploring, we finally bumped into Cecily, a woman I didn't recognise, and Jack. Fucking. Kettleman...... As soon as Cecily said my name he erupted "Astrið??? The doctor that looked after Pip?". He told me to follow him, he took me to an abandoned church and made me sit down in front of him. I fucked up...... I asked him why he hurt Dovie and Eleanor and his face lit up.
He told me he wanted to go back to the crossing for him and get the two of them and bring them to him in Guarma. He wanted to see them face to face and apologise for his taking them hostage and to thank them, but he didn't want me to tell them that: "It would be an important gesture to me if they would come without knowing why". I said I could certainly ask them, but I couldn't force them. He looked me dead in the eye and told me that it was "in the interests of my health and wellbeing" to being successful in the task he had given me. He then sent me to the port to wait for him.
At the port with Mr Kai, we were approached by one Captain Alexander Vasquez - the leader of the Guarma Militia. He said that Jack was causing him problems, and asked me to return to the crossing to summon a Deputy Marshal Monroe to Guarma to "take care of Jack". I tried to explain to him, very carefully, that I was under duress and I couldn't leave - so he turned to Mr Kai and sent him to complete the task himself. Vasquez told me that if I cause any trouble by working for the Kettleman's they would deal with me too.....
I really wanted to take Vasquez up on the offer. I wanted to run, to get back to The Crossing.... But it dawned on me that if I defied Jack, I would never be safe...... When have the law ever been able to keep us safe from the Kettlemans? Not me in Strawberry, not Dovie and Eleanor in Annesburg, nor the countless others the Kettleman's have harmed. No, if I leave now, I was as good as dead. A couple day's later Jack confirmed as much: he said if I'd ever left Guarma without his permission, he's send people back to The Crossing to drag me into the street and cut my head off......
Anyway, the day after arriving in Guarma, a few of us were walking along the beach when we discovered men with their guns out. It was the law - they heeded Vasquez's request and turned up to deal with Jack. Cecily and Mr Herbie ran off towards the fortress to inform Captain Vasquez. Vasquez hid from them all that it was him that summoned the lawmen. As Herbie and Cecily ran off, I challenged him and said that it was you that summoned them, and he said that he had, but this was all a misunderstanding. Vasquez eventually told the law to leave his Guarma, and sent the Kettleman's deep into the jungle.
Cecily panicked and ran off. I tried to follow her, but I lost her. I figured how in love with Jack she was, if anyone would know where she went it was him - and I sure as hell didn't want to be the one responsible for losing her then her turning up dead. I found them at the old combat arena, and sure enough he wanted me to go find his "Ci Ci". Then this...... is where I fucked up worse than I ever have before....... With Vasquez saying it was all a misunderstanding, I asked Jack if Vasquez had explained the situation to him, to which he shouted at me to explain what I meant.
And............. I told him.......... His face dropped when I told him that Vasquez had betrayed him to the law. He sent me away to go find Cecily. As I found her, the weight of my mistake finally hit me, and I feared I'd just caused a war between the Kettleman's and the Militia. I became very upset and set out to find Vasquez to tell him what I'd done, but I eventually calmed down and came to my senses. Anything I did from this point onwards is only going to make the situation worse....... So I returned to the port then went to sleep.
Yesterday, finally came to find me at the port. He took me up to a secluded spot with other members of the gang guarding the way. He told me I had helped him and the Kettleman gang in a big way and that he wanted me to keep helping them, and that he'd give me anything I wanted.
In that moment I realised I had the opportunity to make something good of this situation. If I comply, I am trapped here in Guarma at Jack's whim, if I flee, then the Kettleman's will hunt me down for crossing them. I turned to Jack, looked him in the eye and told him that all I wanted was for "Dovie, Eleanor and the people I care about" to be safe. He was a little stunned, but agreed.
Maybe, just maybe... If I keep complying with Jack, then I can keep the Kettleman's secure in their life in Guarma. If they're in Guarma, they're not hurting people in The Crossing, and if Jack holds his word on protecting my friends and medics for all other times............
It means giving up my freedom, my job, everything I have known and loved........ But perhaps...... that's a worthy price to pay for the safety of The Crossing........
That's why I'm doing this. Maybe The Crossing will hate me by the time this letter if found, maybe it killed me. If anyone finds this letter....... these are my reasons. The real reasons I'm doing what I'm doing. Maybe if someone understands this....... maybe I'll be forgiven when I'm dead....... Or maybe I'll be buried as a monster.......
Astrið Aleksdóttir

He also gave me two telegram numbers to reach out to to say "to expect something soon". He also wanted a newspaper and some socks...

Even with his escort to the boat, it's felt horrible stepping on, given a couple of days ago he told me if I left Guarma, he'd have me hunted down and beheaded.....
He continued his odd playfulness, poking me on the nose as I stepped aboard the boat.

The message I was told to send made me uncomfortable: "Our time here is coming to an end" - God I hope he's fucking wrong... If the Kettleman's go back to the crossing, everything I've done will be have been for nought.
Still, maybe a send these telegrams and there's hope that there will be some information coming back that changes things for the better.....

If Jack didn't hand on heart promise me your and Eleanor's safety, there's no way I would do this to you.
As it stands, we all get hurt if you don't come, I pray to god this all goes to plan and I get you home safe...

Shortly after, a large group of law rode through the town. It's pretty clear the law have Annesburg locked down in case the Kettleman's come back.

Oh god, this is horrible. I want to tell him everything. But I know if I tell him I'm in Guarma, or even give him the slightest hint of what's going on, he's going to try and come to Guarma - probably bring law with him too - and they'll all end up getting hurt.
I can't..... I can't allow that....

Oh Calvin... You said you'd lose you job for me... You said you'd take a bullet for me... And here I am doing this...
I don't think you'll ever forgive me for this... I only hope that one day, when this is all done, you can understand why I did this...

He explained that James Kelly has just been sent to Siska prison and is not available. Zip himself has only just got out of prison, so doesn't have any information other than Tommy "Two Snakes" is currently hunting Jack Kettleman.
I told Zip about Jack's instruction for me to get a hold of Dovie and Eleanor. I have a lead on Dovie, but no contact and no leads on Eleanor - Zip said he would take care of her.

In reality, we were now alone, fairly far from towns and the main roads, and I could see anyone that would come our way a long way out.....

I explained to her that both of us were in danger if she didn't come, but if she came with me, I could guarantee her safety. If Jack could be trusted......
She agreed to come with me.

In Rhodes, Dovie asked if she could send a telegram to her partner, Mr Cole. I was very wary, but she's my friend. I know her terrified Cole will be when the news gets out, so letting her send the telegram is the least I could do.
I did watch over her shoulder however, to make sure she was telegramming exactly who she said she was.....

My heart is so heavy. I hate every part of this. I just have to keep reminding myself that if it wasn't me, Jack would have sent someone who would be much less kind. This is the only way I can guarantee Dovie will be safe.....
I hope Jack won't be too angry I couldn't get Eleanor, but I can't risk staying in The Crossing any longer.

My heart sank into my boots with his words. I turned and looked at Dovie, my arms crossed, waiting for her reply to the deputies.
She said that she was going willingly, but the quiver in voice gave no illusions that she was under duress. Thankfully, the ships captain has no time for delays, and set us off to Guarma before the law could ask any more questions.

Dovie and I just walked on in silence, unsure if he was just joking around or if he really was going to kill us. I'm petrified.
I could never forgive myself if something happened to Dovie......

Jack explained to Dovie that he wanted to pass on his sincere thanks to her and Eleanor Cain for their part in allowing The Kettleman's to escape to Guarma. He explained how close they were to being killed as the law completely disregarded their lives in order to get to The Kettlemans.
This was a jumping off point, and to my dismay, Jack started to tallk about how the law were coming for him and his people, and there would be a big battle in the coming days for which both sides would need doctors.

With that, Jack said he needed to speak to the rest of the Kettleman's and that he would speak to us again in a few hours. Dovie and I headed to the port town to gather some supplies.

I trust Jack to keep his word that he will not hurt her (what other choice do I have), but if she stays for the battle between the Law and The Kettleman's, she could get caught in The Crossfire. No, I need a way of getting her off Guarma before this fight takes place...

Dovie was clearly scared for what was about to happen. I told her there was still time to get her to the boat, to get her off Guarma. But she refused; she didn't want to leave me behind with Jack.
I tried explaining to her the situation: that I had made my own bed with my decisions and there would be consequences for me either way. The truth is, her staying here risks her safety. Still she didn't budge, so I tried to scare her, saying that it may become necessary to have to kill them to get off Guarma alive.
I told her I had killed someone before. The first time I've really talked about that incident since returning to America. I said I was ready to do it again to get her off Guarma safely. If she stays, it may come to that.

Dovie reminded Jack that she would look after all patients, not just his people, to which he which acknowledged.

For me, after sunrise tomorrow, I was to take the remaining supplies I had brought over from The Crossing and take them to the old ruined church The Kettleman's were using as a base, then head back to the medical building up on the mountain to wait with Dovie for Cecily's signal.

She went to try and find a place in the shack to bed down for the night. I looked over the ocean. She's staying here. All bets are off. I just hope we all survive whatever comes tomorrow...

Ultimately his injuries didn’t require any further treatment, and I kept my distance. Mr Damascus continued that he had a lot of money saved away and he was going to pay someone to hunt Billy down for what he did. He reiterated to Herbie that this wasn’t a militia thing – this was all him.

At the end of the bridge, Miss Bailey was waiting for me, expectantly. This should be interesting….. “You should stay in the fortress today” Bailey said, “There’s going to be trouble and we may need you on hand to deal with the injured”. I looked at Bailey, not sure of what to say.
Staying within the safety of the walls is tempting, but at the same time I can’t leave Dovie to be taken by the Kettlemans alone. “Take the wounded to the medical hut” I finally replied to her, “I’ve got supplies there, I’ll try to stay near”. Bailey’s face dropped. I’m sure in that moment she saw right through me, right through that line. But both she and I knew that this wasn’t the time to confront me on it. She nodded, and continued up to the fortress, as I left.

He told me the back wall of the ruined church would be the best place. Far enough back they won’t be found easily, but he’ll pass on the location to the group. However, Kuniklo, same as Alice, had to head off alone. Can’t risk not being there when its time for Cecily to give the signal.

At the ruined church, I follow Kuniklo’s instructions, passing through the ruins then facing the back wall. I place the crate by the old archway – hopefully these supplies do some good!




After what feels like yet another 10 minutes of hiking and climbing, we finally reach the summit.

Dovie squirmed in discomfort. Without venturing forward, she raised her head to see over the edge before the colour started to drain from her face. She’s terrified of heights! This isn’t a great place for her to have to spend hours waiting…..

If I can’t at least improve that situation then I face the very real possibility of having to kill her just to make it off Guarma alive……

As a peculiar bolt of lightning struck the valley below, Cecily answered my words with not a single word of her own, instead taking the bow off her back and holding it with purpose in her hand. I turned my head to look at her.
Message received Cecily….. Message received……


The better viewing peaked Cecily’s interest too. We’d been on the mountain for many hours now, and with Guarma’s hot climate – we’d used just about all of our water reserves. Cecily took our empty water canteens and set off down the valley.
Sensible people would probably use this opportunity to try to escape, but honestly, that idea is just too dangerous. Law would have disembarked from the port town – the only place with deep enough waters to get a boat in close, and the Kettlemans would likely be there to ambush them. The only way off the island for Dovie and I would likely mean crossing an active war zone….. Bitter as it is, our safest option is to remain here.

Cecily is tasked with keeping us both at this mountaintop, but when our usefulness has expired, I can’t guarantee or trust she’ll let me go unscathed. Dovie, perhaps, but me, almost certainly not. Dovie tensed up. As much as she’s unhappy at being here, she also sees the reality of my situation.

With a soft smile I said yes. After all, after so many hours at the top of this mountain with nothing to do, this seems like a perfect distraction. She says the game is called “Ship, Captain, Crew” – the department of health plays it to pass the time when they don’t have any clinics.
The aim of the game is to roll 5 dice and you get 3 tries to get a 6 (the ship), a 5 (the captain) and a 4 (the crew) – with the value of the remaining dice being used to give that player score. Don’t get a ship, a captain and a crew, you score nothing. Also, the rules a bit more nuanced than that. You can’t have a captain or a crew without a ship, so if you roll a 5 and a 4 but no, 6, then you can’t bank the 4 or the 5 this turn – and so on. Seems a fun little game.

CC and I both took our binoculars out and started scanning the horizon for any sign that either the law or the Kettlemans were making their way up here. They were not.

I hear a clattering of equipment behind me – CC rushing for her binoculars. “Look, over there” she yells, pointing to the far end of the valley.



The whole ordeal was… just… completely… terrifying… I’ve seen shootings before, sure, but this is a gunfight like I’ve never heard of before! It genuinely feels more like the battleground of a war than a shootout between law and a gang – a token of just how badly the lawmen want Jack and his folk.
At one point, Jack himself ran behind me, loosing his longarm over the side of the platform, the smoke it produced smothering the platform.

The extra distance from the fighting brough little comfort as the volume of gunfire escalated, the three of us huddling in the limited cover offered at the other platform.

“When this is over, reach out to me” He said, turning around and running off to rejoin the battle. “I will” I yelled after him. Dovie, silently watching the interaction, asked what he gave me. I replied it was a gun, examining it. I could feel my eyes widening as I read the “Property of SCSD” engraved onto the side….

As the two exchanged a kiss on the platform, suddenly there was a commotion from just up on the hill…..

To my horror, as he bolted towards Jack and Cecily, he lost his balance – his momentum from running down the hill carrying him forward and…… right over the edge of the platform to his death……
Jack cried out Diego’s name, Dovie whimpered in the fear of what she just saw – her worst fears about heights unfolding before her eyes. I was closest to the edge – I peered over, but the clifftop was so tall I couldn’t even see him at the bottom….

Approaching the hill I yelled as loud as I could; “MEDICAL! We’re medical!”. Recognising Dovie and I, the deputies lowered their guns, before ordering us to take the injured person back over to the other platform, where the other injured were.

By the time we got to the other platform, I reckon it had been nearly 5 minutes since the shooting had ended, so I loudly shouted to all the deputies that we were medical and needed to know who was most in need of help. In the chaos, my words went unnoticed. It didn’t appear any triaging had been done on the casualties.
With just the two of us, Dovie and I split up. Due to her fear of heights, she took the patients on the hill, I started assess the patients on the platform. Cecily, wearing her loyalty on her sleeve, started helping Jack, while I triaged the remaining injured.

Working quickly, I inserted retractors into the wound and opened them wide to expose the severed artery. Clamping the artery, I got to work trying to repair it before she died of her injuries. Working fast, I managed something of a repair and began working on removing the several bullets from her.
Next to me, Cecily was still working on Jack, also horrifically injured. Having some medical training she was trying to stabilise him, but didn’t have the supplies she needed. In between my actions operating on Alice, I tossed Cecily some of my spare supplies to help her try to save Jack.
Jack is the leader of the Kettlemans sure, but my loyalty is to treat the person most injured first, so Alice has my full attention until her condition stabilises.

I asked the deputies what was wrong, what had happened to him? His injuries, his condition? In reply, I got a chaotic mess of words – the panic in their voices palpable. I knew it was bad, but as I glanced at the blood pooling in Alice’s chest cavity and knew straight away she wasn’t stable enough for me to leave at this point.
I continued the surgery, but not before handing the remainder of my spare medical kit to the deputies to tend to Malone until Dovie or I were in a position to help. Once Alice was stable (stable-ish, anyway), I turned to assist the deputies, but they were no-where to be seen. Maybe they moved to the hill where Dovie was?
No matter, the situation for many of our patients is still critical and I need to focus on what’s in front of me. Alice stable, I turned my attention to stabilising Pip, then to assisting Cecily in treating Jack’s injuries. Finally, I headed inside the tent to work on Mills.

Frustrated, I tried to focus myself as I continued working on Mills. As I worked on his injuries, I became aware of more and more deputies surrounding the tent. “Step away Astrið” I head Deputy Maple’s distinctive voice say, “We need to take them off the mountain”. I raised my head, halting my actions for a second as I pondered his instruction. No, I have a human life in my hands and it’s my responsibility to protect it. I am no-ones judge, jury and executioner.
“No” I replied to the deputies, returning my gaze to Mills’ injuries, “I’ll continue until they’re stable. If you want to remove me by force, then so be it”. The deputies took a step towards me, but did not act. They waited until I had closed up Mills’ incision. As I went to turn my attention to Alice’s deteriorating condition, the Deputies took that moment to block me, picking up Mills and Alice and carrying them towards the others as they began descending the mountain.

“Deputy, can I ask a question I already know the answer to?” I asked the female deputy carrying Alice, “We’re not taking the injured to the well-stocked medical building are we?”. I knew the answer, then the deputy confirmed it. Rather than taking the injured to get help, the deputies were taking them to the boat to be deported, where they’d have to fight their condition on a cramped boat with limited medical supplies for TWO WEEKS while they travel back to Saints Crossing!
MONSTERS! How could they do this do another human being? The Kettlemans are supposedly criminals, but how can these supposed exemplars of justice stand to let them suffer like this?
Feeling a trickle of blood down her back, the deputy put Alice down – her condition once again critical. Dovie, who had been travelling with the group, rushed to provide medical to her.

I walked away from the group – I had to. I’ve never felt like this before, but I was so close to lashing out at something, someone. I crossed my arms facing the group, I could feel my tension in my shoulders. Deputy Maple obviously sensed my anger – he walked forward a few steps, putting himself between me and the group. His posture matched mines – tense, watching, ready……
I stared back at him, a hatred washing over me. Suddenly, I could feel my revolver burning against my hips, almost begging me to take it out and-- NO! I can’t…. I’m surrounded by Deputies, I’d be cut down in seconds. I felt my breathing quicken, getting heavier – I realised how close I came to doing something unthinkable. Yet, I can’t shake this feeling of anger, towards him, towards them, towards this entire fucking situation!

My eyes searched the deck of the boat, and to my relief, I found Kuniklo! I ran over to him – I couldn’t help but smile when I saw him. He was weary with his injuries, his hands chained behind his back – but he was alive!
To think, this was someone who once held a gun to my head. Now I look to him so fondly, the man who probably kept me sane through all this. I don’t know how long he’s going to be sent away for, but I will miss him. Speaking of, he told me to reach out to him but didn’t give me a means of doing so! Laughing, he gave me his telegram to contact him back on the mainland.

Yet at the same time, if I don’t go back now, they’ll take that as an admission of guilt. It would also leave Dovie the only medical on the boat with all those injured. If I go, I will be arrested and blamed, if I stay, I can’t defend myself and will be blamed anyway. If the outcome is the same either way, then perhaps my choice – once again – has to lie where I can do the most good.
I’ll write a letter for Dovie to take back to Calvin – Dr Smith. My mentor and best friend. He’ll be beyond broken by all this, but the least I can do is give Dovie the out, let myself take the fall so she can go back to work. Better that than both of us suffer…..

Steam billowed from the funnels as the helmsman brought the screws to turn. As the ship began making its way out to sea, I stood watching it leave. My heart sank to my toes, for with the ship’s departure, I knew that my life as I knew it would be over……
What it will look like going forward, remains to be seen.

I’m scared…. Truly scared….
Ah, you caught me, I've not started this section yet!
Ah, you caught me, I've not started this section yet!
Ah, you caught me, I've not started this section yet!
Ah, you caught me, I've not started this section yet!
Ah, you caught me, I've not started this section yet!
Ah, you caught me, I've not started this section yet!
Ah, you caught me, I've not started this section yet!
Ah, you caught me, I've not started this section yet!


Stopping in the plains, I managed hunt a Coyote. Not good eating in them but good money to be made from the meat and the fur. Daniel also managed to hunt down a Whitetail Buck.

The next telegram was more confusing, asking about my “bank situation”. I assume he was asking if I have a positive bank balance – probably wanting me to hold onto some money for him. I let him know that I could.


I started to tell him about Kuniklo taking me here. A pilgrimage of sorts as he introduced me, and warned me, I suppose to this way of life. I didn’t get very far into my story…..

Taking out my binoculars, I could hardly believe my eyes – grizzly bears! Numbering six or seven – and they were running straight for us!

Daniel was safely on his horse and I could see him making for the road. But I couldn’t get to him – the bears were driving a wedge between us. I had to run down the centre of the valley to get away from them. Oh god, what is happening?



But that doesn’t help my anger…..


Eventually I landed a shot clean through the beast’s head and it dropped dead.

He…. He actually put his arm round me to comfort me. I let out a sigh and tried to relax a bit. I told him he did a really good job dealing with all that.





And yet I don’t want to overstep my place. After all, he broke up with me and told me he doesn’t want to speak with me. Maybe I should just remember that and bite my tongue…. But I don’t want to. Should I say anything or not? I got more and more tense, just looking at him, but in the end he got tired of the silence and rode out of town as I watched on.


To our surprise, no-one was there. Peregrine reasoned that Lucia had already been taken into the treatment room by the doctor.





Arriving in Blackwater he wasn’t there, but he did say he was continuing the hunting in the Great Plains.

Daniel cheekily asked Bishop if he’d ever arrested someone for throwing a dead deer at a deputy. Haha! I didn’t expect that from Daniel at all, and Bishop wasn’t ready for that question. His expression souring, Bishop replied that no he hadn’t but he would if someone did, and implored us not throw a deer at him

Daniel was so funny, he just couldn’t get that ranger’s name right! He makes me laugh.

Not able to find a deer, we returned to Blackwater to collect payment for the wolf carcasses and pelts and got some good money!




I told him there was things that I wanted to say to him, but I’m not sure that I can, that I’m not sure it’s my place. But I didn’t really tell him why…..


Daniel said they seemed nice. I told him that they are, but they are also very dangerous. Slightly confused, I told him he’d just met the Black Hats – a gang.

He telegrammed back saying that that would not be possible, that the law had used to cover of the storm to surround them in Annesburg and he’d likely be taken! SHIT! I couldn’t let them hurt him. Storm clouds be damned, I set off for Annesburg as quickly as Grátt could take me.

After all, if the coal wasn’t delivered then people couldn’t stay warm, cooking would be harder – the good people of The Crossing would suffer. They did, however, take all of her guns – even her binoculars!

I don’t like wagons, but she took offence at me saying that I was terrified of her. I think she felt I was implying I was terrified of her riding the wagon rather than wagons in general.


Worse still, the momentum carried our wagon off the road and into the trees. Crashing, Lola and I were thrown hard into the grass. Except for some bad bruises and scrapes we were both, thankfully, alright. Sadly the wagon was destroyed.

As we walked, I told her my story. I think we’re alike in many ways. She’s sociable, smart, and we share common misgivings about the law. Maybe that’s why we get on so well….. I told her about the first time I ever went to Sisika. I even told her the truth: about how it wasn’t me who pulled the trigger, but I was the reason why the man died and the other almost died.
I’m not sure why I did that….. I almost never tell that story. Hell, I’m not even sure that Varek knows! But…. I enjoy spending time with Lola. Maybe I let my guard down. I hope I don’t regret it – if the law gets wind of this, I could very well go back to Sisika!

I spoke to Deputy Dani Jackson, who knows both me and Varek, and asked her about how long Varek was in Sisika. She said not long, he was only sent to prison for a few days. Stange…. I wonder if they don’t know about his involvement in August’s injuries? Oh well, I won’t say anything!

I did ask Deputy Jackson if should could take me back, but thankfully Charles and Maeve came down the street after doing some hunting – a much better choice!

I continued to explain: I have to make it clear I am not part of and have no associations with the Department of Health. I cannot take on any employees or otherwise consider myself a group or organisation. Anyone who uses my services has to be offered to be treated at a department of health premises and has to give their consent they want to be treated by me instead.

I do really enjoy their company. I’ve seen them a lot recently and I hope to see them more and get to know them better. In any case we started saying our goodbyes as they got ready to head back to Blackwater.


With that, Maeve helped Charles onto her horse then they set off for Blackwater. I hopped onto mines and headed back to the cabin for some much, much needed rest!



I don’t recognise these folks so I just hoped if anything went wrong, I could rely on my normal skills to navigate the situation effectively. To my surprise a voice said “Is that you Astrið?” – I replied that it was and asked who it was. The bearded man to my left said it was Buddy. Buddy! Buddy Lafleur – I was surrounded by Victory Street. I don’t have any bad blood with them, should be fine.

After reintroductions, it turned out he was Winston Caldwell – Cecily Caldwell’s brother. Thankfully much nicer than his sister! Although he was curious to see if I still hated her. I don’t…. I really don’t. What happened between her and me was over a year ago now. I’ve moved on. Only problem I have with CC was a few months back when she started spreading rumours about me out West. But that seemed to have stopped.

Since the only people using my services are people I tell about them, I figured this wording was the best was of complying with the stipulations.


After all, Lola and I did more or less do a “questions and answer” with him about bank robberies. He at least has some idea of my past….

I’m very nervous. I’ve been given this responsibility, as I was for the funeral, for a man who those three probably knew much better than I did. Oh I hope they think its ok.

With Deputy Cliff and Deputy Wolfe, I discussed an amusing thing I noticed that everyone seems to think I look like someone else, but everyone thinks I look like a different person. Some people ask me if I’m Faye, some Clementine, and many others!

Deputy Bishop hilariously exclaimed that Wolfe and Cliff were deputies, to which they retorted that everyone standing on the porch right now, except him, was a current or former criminal. I think that realisation made him a little nervous!


Lucia kneeled down, removing a bouquet of fresh, bright yellow flowers – placing them lovingly at the foot of the rock. So long had it been from when Lucia offered to take me to Elsie’s grave to today that I don’t have any fresh flowers to leave for her. But I do have something I was saving for Elsie…
Carefully opening my diary, I flicked to the back and carefully pulled out a pressed little yellow flower I had been preserving between the pages for some time now. I held it in my hand, admiring its yellow colour, thinking back to Elsie and how you could almost spot her from the next town over with her distinctive yellow clothes and hat. With a bittersweet smile, I carefully placed the little pressed flower next to Lucia’s flowers.

Elsie told me, “for what its worth, I’m going to vote to overturn the ban”. The truth was, it meant a lot. And even though the Department of Health voted to extent my ban, it did bring me some comfort knowing Elsie had fought my corner.

She confided this to Elsie. Elsie told her she would have to let the Luther seniors know. Lucia pleaded with her not to tell them, but Elsie assured her it would be ok. Lucia fesred what would happen , and sure enough, one the medical team were aware, there was distrust of Lucia and her abilities as a doctor.

After The Seer tortured her, the department were more insistent than ever that she should get DoH therapy or councelling. All of this made Lucia’s position within the department impossible to retain, and she felt leaving was the only option she had to protect herself.

But our conversation and our remembering was interrupted. First by a couple riders that passed through the valley. Then a few more. But then a couple of gangs came barrelling through, each stopping to ask if we’d seen someone or other – there’s obviously something going on!

Lucia and I both took out our rifles and were able to scare them away. But enough was enough, and we hopped on Lucia’s horse to head back to town.

Walking down Frontier Street, surrounded by the pretty lights of the city, I headed towards the tailors at the other end of the square. I know what I want to get.... But oh goodness am I nervous!


When he came out, I could hardly believe my eyes. Green trousers, green jacket, even a green little bowtie. Don’t get me wrong, he looked handsomely sharp – but he was VERY green!

She was pouting, clearly as uncomfortable in being seen in those clothes as I was in mines – but she looked great. They both did! All set for their date, they headed down to the Grand Korrigan for a night on the big casino boat!


I also got a telegram from Clifford. He’s around! It would be great to see him, I see he telegrammed me from Blackwater, saying not to be a stranger. Well, that I won’t be! I got on my horse and left Emerald bound for Blackwater, hopefully I’ll catch him.

Well, a game of Blackjack did me no favours, but there was a good request on the job listings here in Blackwater. Someone wanted a bunch of mushrooms delivered to a restaurant in Saint Denis – pays really well! Time to head down to New Austin to pick the mushrooms.

As I arrived at the lake a mist had descended over the lake. I like the mist! It made for a very pretty sight. Well, time to pick my mushrooms.

A man of pointless mystery is Varek, because Lola rode into Thieves’ barely two minutes later. Varek knows that I know he rides with Lola, and he knows I get on with Lola – why would he be obstructive about it? Ah, it’s just Varek being Varek I suppose. Turns out Varek and Lola are doing some cooking – Lola is making a cookbook and was finalising some recipes.



I haven’t had a chance to tell him I still have feelings for him, but surely he must know? The way he was toying about with me, teasing me….. he must know….. Yet he’s still so obsessed with her. The passion he talks about her….. I couldn’t help but feel dread with his every word. Oh god, I hope he doesn’t pick on it.







First order of business was a question about a man by the name of “Bill Nevitz”. Kai asked me what I knew of him. Unfortunately, I genuinely have never heard the name before, in either civilian circles or criminal circles – I’ve got no information to give.

They asked what could be done about this. I’ve not dealt with a multiple-personality disorder before – really not my area of expertise, but I pondered my books and my notes looking for answers.

The other options would be to medicate. The problem is, literature doesn’t explicitly cover disorders of multiple personalities, but under the assumption it is an overactivity of the mind as in mania and hysteria, then Potassium Bromide or Paradehyde may do the trick. Only problem there is that while that may offer faster relief of symptoms, it will not get to the root cause of why they are happening….


She told me that she had a chance to fix things with Willie and Victory Street. She met Willie with another of Victory Street, while the rest of Victory Street were in the distance. Unexpectedly, the law showed up on a patrol, and chased Victory street away. She explained that Victory Street now blame her, thinking she set them up to be ambushed by law.
Poor Clara, she’s completely distraught, she feels they’re going to come after her and hurt her. She’s lost and scared and doesn’t know what to do…. I want to help her, but she’s quite insistent about doing it alone. After all, it was the presence of others that got here…..

I feel for the both of them, it seems no-one in this Crossing can ever catch a break……

I agreed, but told him I couldn’t come with him – not with Clara and the deputy up in her room, totally unaware of the situation. I said I would see him to his horse then let them know, stay with them and make sure they got out safe.

Well, I’ve got no stake in the woman or the captives (I don’t even know them!), but I’m sure as hell not going to let Cade stand there alone. I drew my rifle and stood by his side. A standoff ensued for a few minutes until one of the captives said it was okay and Cade should lower his gun. Reluctantly he did, and the four disappeared round the corner while Cade and his friend got on Cade’s horse and made for Blackwater.

With that, I headed over to the telegram office and sent Cade a telegram.

I ran over to the bathhouse, but to my dismay it was also empty. I looked up and down the main street, there was no sign of her. Oh shit! Some folks rode into town as I was sending the telegram, could it have been them? Did Victory Street really just swoop in and take her right under my nose?

I have no choice – I have to raise the alarm! I ran to the Sheriff’s office and found the deputy she had been speaking to earlier. I told her that Clara was missing. Alarm raised, the deputies began searching the town, I decided to check in at the ranch and the telegrams again in case we had gone different paths to each other.

With me acting as rear guard in case any of them tried following us, we bolted out of town and across the plains towards Rhodes.

Anyway, Cade and Jug got talking. Seems they are good friends, as Cade was with the rest of the hobos. Cade later explained that he would do anything to help him and to stop him coming to harm – hence why he drew his gun like did in Valentine earlier. I nodded and told him I understood.

I asked him if he was super-super tired, or if he wanted to stop off at Emerald to see my new clinic – he hadn’t seen it yet!

Apparently they are running the saloon here now, so we shared introductions and pleasantries before Cade and I carried on to Valentine for him to get his head down.

With Valentine now completely empty of familiar faces, I decided to return to Rhodes to see if the Pavee were around.

I asked if they needed an extra set of hands and they invited me to ride out with them.

Just as we started moving off northwards, another group came riding into view – also heading northwards. But seeing us, that group changed direction and loomed towards us for a confrontation.

Zip Quil was with them. As was Isaac, Alice, Mills and a couple others. Zip and I caught each others gaze, and as old friends, we slowly walked our horses together and peeled off from the group to have our own little conversation.

Unfortunately, Tarryn got frustrated and made a sharp remark about leaving. Jack’s face dropped. He had been playfully telling the group to send “the Kettlemans regards” to the Baastards, and to the Law, and to a few others the Kettlemans have it in for. At that comment, Jack asked for “the name of the kid who’s in a hurry”. He told the Pavee to give Tarryn their regards to, before turning around and riding off towards the south.

However, Elich did get a telegram from Miles letting them know he was safe and would meet them later. With that, the group returned to Rhodes.

With the appearance of a distinctive figure at the end of the camp, it was my turn to leave. I bid Mr Doherty and Miss Tibbs goodnight, and headed over to meet Varek.

Turns out I didn’t have long to wait to find out the answer to his question. He asked me what was going on when I seemed so cold and upset to him with Lola the other day…. He asked if it was something he said, or not. I got uncomfortable…. I guess this is going to be the conversation I wanted to have a while back…..
I told him that I was upset because of something this he said but it wasn’t his fault – he didn’t know. He looked confused, but I explained I’m not in the habit of blaming people for things they don’t know about.
Varek explained that after that day at the campsite, Lola also gave him a big row for what he said. Lola apparently told him he had no empathy…. I told him that I was sorry, that I was trying to hide it, but I didn’t do as good a job as I wanted it seems.

Varek said that he didn’t know how to talk to me these days. Truth be told I am the same with him. Pondering for a minute, he wondered if it would just be easier if we didn’t see each other. I said that I didn’t want to.
I tried to explain to him. When I was coming to see him the day he was arrested, he thought I was coming to shout at him. I explained that I wasn’t, I was coming with a question. He asked if I still had that question, or if I had the answer. I feel like I know his answer….. but I guess time has showed me I’ve been wrong before.
I explained that when he talks about Deputy Love, I’ve heard the passion in his voice – the good, and the bad, but still passion. Realising, the lamented that he shouldn’t have spoken about her in front of me.

After a long pause he finally replied; “I really do wish things were different”, he said, going on to reflect on how nice our time was together, until it got soured “for people that don’t even matter”.
I knew that we broke up, but as we’d been spending more time together, I really enjoyed that time we spent. Then things started to change. He started toying with me more, teasing me, and….. I guess I just got a hope that maybe the winds had changed…. That there was still a chance for us.

He said he thought I’d moved on from him, quickly. He couldn’t see any reason why I wouldn’t. But I didn’t, I hadn’t moved on. He explained that we didn’t exactly part ways on friendly terms. That was true, but as I told him before; as much as I wanted to be angry with him, I couldn’t stop loving him – and I still haven’t.
At that, he asked if it was a mistake giving “us” a try, explaining we worked great as friends. I told him that I didn’t regret it, that when we were together I was truly happy and I don’t and can’t regret that. “I’m really sorry it went so wrong, Astrið” he said. I explained to him that I tried to move on, but I just couldn’t. That every time I heard him laugh my heart melted, and as we started spending more time together the feelings just came flooding back. I asked him if any of his feeling came back? Did they?

He retorted that that’s not what he wants. He said he cares for me a lot, and he hates seeing me like this, and doesn’t know what to do except keeping his distance from me. I told him he doesn’t need to. I’m a grown woman, I can manage my feelings. Sure, I have my answer for sure and it hurts more than anything, but I have my answer…. Now I can straighten myself up and move on, once and for all. I promised him not to get upset around him again – after today of course!

As gunshots rang out – Varek fixing the situation the only way he knows how - Grátt scattered into the hills and I ran behind a rock to tend to my arm, bloodied and barely able to move it.

Knowing I was ok, Varek set off somewhere, and I went to the stables to grab Myrkur – letting the stablehands know that Grátt is riding around somewhere in the Grizzlies. I hope they can get him back……

As I left town, I decided to follow the railway tracks – a little unusual for me, but this odd path proved to be interesting, as I was met once again with the Kettlemans, riding full tilt towards Rhodes. Issac asked me if I’d seen a transport pass through Rhodes and when – I gave him the details I saw and they bolted off in pursuit. I wonder what’s going on….. I wonder if someone’s been arrested?

But that was never my intention and we talked for quite a while. Turns out she’s a baker, makes sweets and cakes for gatherings. Totally bemused at my not having had nearly any cakes before, Sammie absolutely insisted I tried some she had spare. She gave me brownies, churros, an angel cake, and something called a flour drop cake!



But thankfully it didn’t and we returned to Lola, still sorting out her wagon.


Once inside, she had a good look around. With a smile, she told me it’s a great place to have for myself.


Fiona, Rowan and Miree all telegrammed me looking to meet up – so I telegrammed them that I was around. And I telegrammed Lola and Varek to say if I was around if they wanted to travel with me for a bit.

Fiona explained that I make cigarettes and cigars for her on order, as indeed was on my agenda for today, to which Mr Carlo seemed very interested. He explained that people attending his events are always in need of “good smokes” and he may call upon me for business sometime. Not the line of work I quite expected to be done, but business is business!

He explained that as an Italian immigrant, when the Italians leave Italy they tend to assume the surname that is derived from the nearest big town – so people can know when they may know each other. He explained that by that same rule, his parents took the last name Barletti when the came to America, derived from “Barletto” the town they are from.
He seemed nice, but before long it was time for him to return to his business back in Saint Denis and for me to continue on….

Normally I would just blast straight through the village and leave them be, but since I had to stop to make up the moonshine, I didn’t really have much other choice than to stop and fight them.

That sounds nice! I telegrammed him to let me know when he was done at work and I’ll come find him.


Just as I went to take the deer’s carcass off the roof, who else should be appear but Varek…. Of course!

In any event, I have no telegrams, so Varek and I decided to continue south to visit Jon’s memorial.

Either way, not our fight. We kept our distance from them and continued part them – watching them closely in case they started following us.

Having said that, it’s the meaning behind the note and behind the tree is what elicits so much emotion…….


Even if he intended them the same, the words themselves don’t carry the same meaning. I’m not sure if he quite understood my point. Either way, it seems that’s it, Varek’s back on his own now. I took him back to Armadillo where he was going to lay his head down.

“Let me see that!” He yelled, spinning me round to reveal his pistol pointed at my face….. What did I used to say about Armadillo being a safe place because criminals didn’t like to shit in their back yards? Who even are these people?

A familiar voice spoke behind me, a woman’s voice. It was Sam. “She’s a doctor. Not a state doctor, she helps criminals, looks after them, treats them”. It was enough. “Leave her” one of the men said, “but he’s a Black Hat – take everything from him”.
Thanks to Sam, I escaped without losing a penny. But Varek lost $400 and his Volcanic pistol. I could barely even see them in the dark, but I did overhear one of their names: “Cook”.

Before I did, Sam came up to me. She explained that criminals tend to avoid attacking doctors and medics so I should tell anyone that tries to rob me that as a matter of urgency. While she’s right, I normally just rely on my reputation to avoid getting robbed rather than having to degrade myself by begging them not to rob me because of the work I do……


At least he’s been tended. My friend Bonnie tended to his wounds and they brought him back to his hotel room to rest.






It's funny seeing the deputies let their down. Too often it’s so easy to forget their folk just like everyone else.


I do….. But I can’t think what she’s referencing….. We were going to ask her along to a bank robbery, but I don’t recall she necessarily knew that at the time….. And that’s not something I really want to blurt out!

Violet had been causing problems in Valentine, and Clarabelle joined Ed, Varek, Abigail and I as we hunted her, Declan and Indy down across New Hanover and Lemoyne! Ohhhhh yes, I’m not sure her deputy colleagues would be particularly happy about that!

I didn’t get the chance to talk to him back when it happened, but seeing him so distraught over Zoe being hurt was….. painful to see. The two of them have been friends a long time. I used to see them up at the Karrigan Ranch barbeques every weekend.

I explained to Ned that my life is actually quite lonely. Sure, I go from place to place, talking to people as I go. But the truth of the matter is, as soon as I walk out the door, or turn the corner, just about everyone in the Crossing forgets that I exist. No-one ever just telegrams me to check in. Ned pondered a few seconds, then with a soft smile, he said that he would check in me from time to time – make sure I’m getting on ok. His words warmed my heart. He’s always been kind.


He started asking me about names from his past. Some deputies, but mostly criminals – the names were somewhat telling of his past as someone not on the right side of the law. Eventually he asked after a very interesting set of names….. Ally Chase and Toby…..

“How did they die?” He asked. I told him what I knew….. That they were being chased by law, and they took a hostage in the middle of town, then chased by law, they made a stand-off that resulted in their deaths. Of course….. I left out the part that it was my good friend they took hostage and this interaction eventually lead to the death of my best friend but…… I don’t know this man, and giving that information to him would not be helpful…..

Violet explained that it was lead by Castor Frey. Cas….. Ok so I know Cas, I guess I just didn’t know he had his own gang going on since the Kelly’s parted ways. I explained that Sam knew the people that robbed us, but didn’t want to give names. I want to reach out to Sam, so asked Violet if she had Sam’s telegram. We headed over to the telegram to check.

After teasing Bishop that she’s probably wanted, Violet was in for a bit of a shock when he checked his notes and sure enough she WAS wanted!

In response, Ginny started making fun of Bishop in a rather childish way, forcing Bishop to exclaim: “Who even are you???”. Clearly enjoying the interaction, Ginny turned to him and replied “I’m Ginny fucking Darby, sir!”.



Following an incident at the ranch, law left a note asking Clifford, Daniel or Peter to reach out to law, which Clifford had done. He was dismayed that no-one had got in contact with him.

But it’s not all bad news, I promised him, as I excitedly showed him the signs to my new private clinic. He was a bit perplexed by the wording, but I explained the weight of all the stipulations I have to work under from law and from the Department of Health. No calling myself a doctor, nurse or medic, no saying or implying I’m part of the DoH, no employees, no considering myself an organisation, ensuring I have consent for everyone I treat, no public advertising as a place of medicine.
But with a small smile, he said he was happy for me and my new venture. He said that for what it’s worth, he’d highly recommend me and if he needs anything he’ll be sure to reach out to me.

I hope I can see him again soon and we can go fishing or hunting, like before…..

I really do I hope I get to see him soon. But for now, it’s time for me to let him get some rest. As he headed inside, I mounted up and returned to Blackwater.

Lola told me her side of events and expressed her anger and sadness at the situation. So much had they tried to include him in the gang’s activities, but nothing that they did made him happy, nor did it ease the friction between him and the rest of the gang….


As we rode, I tried to explain the situation to Lola and Norman. I have, I guess, a somewhat better understanding of Varek’s character than they do…. I’ve known him for longer than they have and our relationship runs…… or at least, ran… a lot deeper than their did…. The point is, I know things about him that they couldn’t….

They accepted that point, but also levelled that Varek had to accept theirs and the group could meet each other half way. The problem is, Lola continued, is that Varek will just keep arguing the same points over and over again until either she relents, or the relationship becomes irrecoverable – the latter is what seems to have happened.
I have to admit she has a point there…. I’ve very much had that experience of Varek when we were together. He would tell me everything was fine after an argument, then the next day he’d be back arguing the same points. I must confess it made me very upset at the time.

I was telling Lola about some of the Faroese delicacies, such as Skerpikjøt – fermented mutton – and other fermented dishes. Lola squirmed at the thought, and her discomfort clearly brought a cheeky smirk to Norman’s face as he kept teasing her. As he brought up maggots, Lola exploded: “OK! THAT’S ENOUGH!” – as Norman and I giggled to ourselves.



I feel terrible that he got robbed and I didn’t…. Not that I’d rather they robbed me, mind! But everything’s pretty shit right now. Maybe it might mean something if I manage to get his gun back for him……
Either way, time for bed, I’ll pick all this up another day!

Slowly, I made my way over to them; their faces dropping, seeing the scarring to my face, my neck, and the big cut where I almost lost my eye yesterday. They asked if I was OK, but it was clear I wasn’t. Jayne, frustrated, tells me that Clara and Tadgh have gone off themselves looking for Taran - That he's still not been found yet…

I checked my telegrams: Aria, Violet, Alexio, Cade and the others had all got back to me from my telegrams yesterday. It really seems that the fight is on... Alexio wants to meet me again. Aria and Violet are going to reach out to see who else they can get on my side.

I said that I didn't know who the woman in braided hair was, but I did see someone with braided hair in Strawberry just before Clara went to bed yesterday. She was a redhead like me. With her braid worn over her shoulder like how I normally wear mines. She had a top that was cut high that you could see her belly, but beyond that I don't have any idea as to who she is or even if it is in fact her. But nevertheless, we need to be on our guard. We can't talk or be seen by anyone that we don't recognise.

I used the money that Miles didn't steal yesterday to buy myself a new gun here in Strawberry: a double action revolver. But I know that I needed something more. Checking that Teeki and Riley were going to be OK, I called my horse and rode after the group - hoping to catch them up on their way to the camp.


I noticed a familiar figure slowly made their way towards me, trailing behind the group. It was unmistakable - it was Taran! I asked him if he'd been hurt, he replied that he had not. But before the conversation could continue – somewhat of a commotion erupted. The binoculars came out, and the group started peering towards the forest between us and Valentine.
Glancing that way myself, I recognised Jayne, Clara and Tadgh on their horses. Nahkahyen recognised Tadgh can called out to Miles. Already having one unplanned guest, Miles was not keen to entertain any more. He told me to leave the camp, to tell Tadgh to get out of there and that if the law or anyone else comes back to the camp, they’ll kill Taran on the spot. Standing alone, I was keen not to overstay my welcome. I got on my horse and left as instructed.

I rushed inside myself: the Miles Gang is at full force - we will need every hand we can get to come out of this alive! I telegrammed Violet, Alexio and Aria to see if they have anyone on hand right now that could help.




I don't like it here. There's one entrance at the front, and four entrances at the back - and we can only see someone approaching one of those entrances. They could surround us and get the advantage on us before we even knew what was happening!



A fury flowed through my heart at being told to leave Clara in her hour of need. The very thing I had sworn to do, to be by her side no matter what, was now no longer possible - by order of some deputies. Mounting my horse, I turned to Deputy Parker and I told her that Clara lives. That Taran lives. That Miles dies. Those were my terms.
She told me they would try their best. I replied that it's her job to make that happen. With that, we rode out of town.





Johann decided enough was enough, he rode off - taking the injured Clara towards Valentine with Jayne and I following close behind. With no room on either horse, Emerson was left behind at the foot of the cliff.

I realised very quickly to my horror that the situation in Valentine was not as safe as Johann seemingly believed - That we had rode into a place controlled by our enemies. In turn, I yelled at Johann that we need to leave – NOW!!! That Evelyn is calling the remaining gang members to confront us…..


As we began to pick up speed, certain the Barton’s & Miles’ gang were still following us, I suddenly spotted a group of five riders off to my left.

I stopped and raised my rifle at a masked woman, yelling at the top of my voice; “Who are you?”. Their only reply was “Stop your horse! Put your gun down!” I turned away from them and pushed Grátt with what little strength he had left further into the countryside.

Immediately I recognised them: The man was Nahkahyen - part of the Miles gang. The woman, I don’t know her name, but I'd seen her at the camp with Mr Miles and Nahkahyen earlier. I ordered the both of them to stay in front of me, my gun raised - but the woman was not keen to listen! She kept trying to surround me despite my protests.
I kept repositioning myself to stop them from surrounding me. She yelled at me to stop moving, that things would get so much worse for me if I didn't. But I held my ground, yelling back that if she kept trying to surround me, I would raise my gun to them.

Nahkahyen replied; “If Miles gunned Clara down, then he got what he wanted. Go, go now!” he said, before riding off towards the valley, . In my anger, I screamed after him; “You owe me my guns back. Don't you fucking forget that!”. I turned and rode the opposite direction with Clara.



Caught off guard, she got off her horse, her hands in the air. She asked if everything was OK up there, if anyone was hurt. I said that things weren't OK and that my life was in danger if her horse could be seen from the road. She identified herself as Sarafina Braithwaite. As much as she presented a risk, Clara remained my priority. I put my gun away and I returned to Clara's aid.

Clara, in blind panic, told me that she wanted to give herself to Miles – to let herself be killed so that all this could be over for all of us. I grabbed her by the arms and I told her that she was free to throw herself to Miles if she so wanted, but we are way, way beyond this being over. And whatever she does, does not change the fact that I will be hunting that man down until he is buried 6 feet beneath my feet. I asked her if she understood that her sacrifice does not mean that this will be over. She nodded. With that, I brought her to Rhodes.


He laughed at me, asking if I was referring to the man covered in blood or the woman covered in blood… I gripped my rifle tight - wanting so badly to hurt him, but knowing I couldn't deprive the Pavee of their moment.



Cliff is a deputy who I've always gotten along with, and I called him over to me. I explained that I would leave, but first I needed to know if a man called Taran or a woman called Jayne was being treated in Valentine. He replied that to his knowledge, there was not. My heart sank to my toes.
With what appears to be most of the remaining Miles gang lying injured on the floor, but no sign of the hostages, my lead had ran cold.



Jayne, Emerson and I were all reduced to tears as Teeki Rava stood guard by Jayne’s side. Jayne explained she had a sucking chest wound - a sure sign that her plural cavity had been torn open with her injury. A very serious and life threatening condition! She’s badly hurt, but she’s alive. I can’t believe we’ve all made it through this!!!

I asked her if Miles was dead - she replied that she couldn't answer that.

I said to him that this isn't over and if he needs anything from me, I will be there - he knows I've ridden shoulder to shoulder with the Pavee before, that I've put my life on the line for them.

She asked me what happened - I did not know. Jayne and Peregrine examined me further, revealing that my shirt had been ripped at my upper arm and - - Oh my God - I've been shot. My face grew pale, once again seeing my own blood trickling down my body. Jayne called Emerson to escort me in to see the doctor.

As William began to work on my injuries, I couldn't help but burst out crying - the emotions of today's events hitting me hard. I buried my head in my right hand, sobbing as he worked away.
But as he continued his work, a panicked Emerson ran into the building. He told us that there was a jailbreak attempt on the Barton and the Miles gangs and that we need to leave Rhodes, in case we get targeted as hostages.


I told her that my deal would be that when the time comes, we would both put the final bullet into Mr Miles together - so that neither of us would be deprived of the chance to put that motherfucker in the ground. Shaking my hand, she agreed, but then followed it up with a request: “Only if I get to torture him first!.

Emerson has a good head on his shoulders and we would love to have him fight alongside us - but he might not want to leave the Ranger recruit programme. Teeki Rava will definitely fight alongside us - that makes 3. Johann might be convinced to fight alongside us. Clara and Fiona might also be convinced to fight alongside us - finally, seeing how well the passive approach worked for us.
Peregrine definitely will not join us, her relationship with Deputy Ricard would put too much on the line for them. Beyond that, it will be a case of seeing who else we can reach out to in the coming days.

I haven't fired a single shot at anyone throughout this entire escapade. As I go to bed tonight, I can't help but feel the inescapable sensation that I didn’t do enough to look after my friends. It's going to be time to change that – and to actually mean it this time.

I replied back to her saying that I don't know what else I could explain, that I left Clara with Deputy Parker in Valentine and that she would be better for filling in the blanks than I am. I should speak to Clara and Jayne.
After I telegrammed her, I telegrammed Clara, Jayne and Mr Alexio Gotti, to see if they are around to discuss things further.








I tried to explain to him that this situation had been going on for months, and that one way or another, all of those thing had been tried and nothing had worked. But he remained firm in his stance…..


I heard his words and I understood them. But just because I *can* do something he doesn't agree with, doesn't mean he won’t hate me for it.

I've never heard him to have such hatred in his voice before, let alone for it to be directed to me. He explained that we were having a fight and it was okay for us to be emotional. He wrapped his arms around me tightly, giving me a big hug, but reiterated again that he needed to go get some air. He said he would telegram me when he's ready to talk again.

Clara took me outside to talk about what was going on. I told her everything about the fight that Daniel and I had just had.

I was disappointed, but I understood. She said that if anything changed, if Miles starts going after us again, or the Bartons, then she's with me all the way. But for now, she wants to watch to wait and see what happens. She also highlighted her concerns about Clara: that if Clara takes any actions that brings us towards conflict again, then Jayne's going to distance herself. I agreed that I would too. And with that, we entered the saloon.

Now all the new furnishings had been put in place, you could hardly tell that the Miles gang had blown them half the place up with dynamite just a few days before!

One by one, we all told our stories - the pain and the rawness of the emotions still palpable in our voices. Our injuries, both physical and emotional, still fresh from the events of just a couple of days before.

I stood behind Cade, uncertain. After all, it's not that easy to feel part of a group when I'm the only one that wants to go after Miles for what he did to me, what he’s done to all of us.

Speaking again to Jayne, she expressed concerns that the sutures on her chest from where she was shot into the lung were too tight. They were causing her too much pain as she tried to move. I offered her to take a look at them and she agreed.


Mr Carmine asked us what we thought of Violet, explaining the fact that he thinks she's a nice person - but she is more adamant that she is not. I explained to him that Violet has a nice side, but to the wrong person, she can be incredibly dangerous and incredibly violent when the mood suits her.

I was so drunk I hardly remembered what I said to him. But I'm sure I told him about my time there: about being set on fire, about being hung upside down from the scaffolding, about being made to run the obstacle course after my leg got hurt. I don't remember exactly what I said, but I remembered the smile dropping from his face - his hand resting meaningfully on top of his holster in anger.

Deputy Grey smiled and asked me how I was getting on - but I could see the smile drop from his face when he spotted all my injuries. He remember him asking me if it was wise that I was drinking so much when I was injured. I explained that I wasn't allowed to go to buy more medicine, so that was all I had for the pain.

It took me about twice the time it used to to get through the lock, but I did manage it without breaking a pick! I'll chalk the time delay up to the alcohol… In true fashion for this place, the chest was full of beans!



I couldn't help but give a smile proud smile. Mr Carmine thanked me for showing him, but confessed that lock picking and safe cracking probably weren't for him.

I also had a telegram from Miss Elise, one of the ones who helped me after I was shot. Weary of the shortcomings of her medical knowledge, she asked if I would be interested in taking her on for some medical training. I told her that I would, and when I got back to The Crossing, we could discuss further about what she wanted. With that and my head reeling from all the alcohol, I headed to my hotel room and to bed!!

He said he needed some time to take a walk to get some air – but it's been a week and I've heard nothing from him at all. I sent a telegram to him asking if he still needs some time.

While I was there, I noticed Clara having a very interesting conversation with Mr Thomas Woods, leader of the woods gang. As I finish my telegram to Shae, I overheard her talking about taking action against a certain group. I thought that was curious. I took a step back out of ear shot of their conversation and watched, wanting to make sure that Clara was OK. It will definitely be worth following up with her afterwards to see what this conversation was about!



If going after them is indeed his intention, then he needs to get a big group - he can't just go after them as a couple of people. It needs to be a big group that's going to put them all in the ground at the first time of asking, and even with a big group, that might still be hard to achieve.

Besides, as much as I don't like them, everything between us is in the past now. If I start digging it up, that's going to be a whole other thing to keep in the back of my mind.

I reiterated to him that if he does want to go after them, he needs to make sure he does it right first time. He will need to have a big group of skilled gunslingers - because they sure as hell well. And anything short of that? That would be certain death.
He looked down, pondering my words. “Well, I'm glad I spoke to you”, he said. It seems I gave him an important insight that he didn't have before. He'll consider his next move carefully.


Despite my frustration, I could tell there was no winning with him. Embarrassed, but not wanting to cause any offence, I sheepishly took the money. With that, I went upstairs to my hotel room to pay my rent and get my ingredients.

Not wanting me to leave on my own, Mr Carmine asked if he could accompany me. I agreed.


He explained that he was going to be leaving the crossing for a little while, so asked if somebody would be so kind as to leave milk out for the cats and some spare meat out for the dogs. I agreed and said that I would.

After, I got to work on pasteurising the milk to make it safe for drinking and using. With all the ingredients now prepared, I cooked up all the peach cobbler we would need for taking the Coulter and boxed it up.


Lucia pondered for a second then told me that when I see Clara next, to tell her from Lucia “Thank you”. I wanted to ask more about her odd demeanour when she made this request, but before I could, she turned around and left the saloon. Strange…. I wonder what's going on there?

Her eyes widened, but again, I was none the wiser as to what was going on. With that, the pair disappeared into Cade’s room to chat.

However, one of the deputies was yelling loudly and asked “Donnie, is that you?”. Oh crap? Is that the Bartons? That’s the only Donnie I know… I have to let Clara know!

Sensing my moment as we left town, I asked her about what that conversation was all about with Thomas Woods, but she insisted that it was nothing.

After tending the bar for a while, Clara said she was going to go to check telegrams and would be right back, leaving the saloon and continuing towards telegrams on horseback.


However, our journey north had taken some time and now the sun was beginning to set. Even in daytime, the northlands can be dangerous with wolves and bears. At nighttime, it gets so much worse - we were now racing the sun to get back South!

As we headed out back of the saloon to our horses and Clara mounted her horse, we were horrified to see a man appear from behind that house, pointing a gun straight at us!!!

Johan, at that moment having now expended all of the bullets in his revolver, began reloading. So to stop us from being shot, I had no choice but to shoot at the man.

I think Mr Carmine was bemused by the experience, but any moment can be a teaching moment -- even if the doctor herself is the patient!

I'm not very sure why, but at the medical office, they weren't interested in giving me anything proper for the pain - so I got a couple of bottles of rum from behind the bar to give me something to numb this pain!

I asked her if she was OK and she replied that she was hurt, that she’d been injured. I asked her if she'd like one of my bottles of rum to take her mind off the pain. With a pained smile, she gratefully agreed, taking the bottle and sharing a drink.

With Bobby and Alfred looking after her, the three of them set off to get Clara somewhere safe and tucked in to sleep for the night.

I don't know what it is that they've been told. I have no doubt that once Teeki is done speaking to Olya, she will want to speak to me for my statement.

At one point I only said that I was with Jayne and Johan up on the hill – because I knew they had already given their names to law. Olya corrected me, asking if Emerson was with me and I had to confirm that he was there too. I wanted to test the waters to see what she knew, but as the last person to do statements with her, she already has most of the story that she needs. And sensing my uneasiness with speaking to law, she said exactly that. My statements is just a formality…..
At the end of it all, I asked her if any of the deputies had come into possession of any of my guns that had been stolen from me. She checked her records and to my dismay confirmed that they had not. It seems the Miles gang still has possession of my guns. That will be something I need to pick up later…..

Carmine walked forward into the centre of the junction, advancing a couple of paces towards us and taking up an imposing stance, with Teeki approaching us directly, curious about what's going on. I think they both thought that I was about to be arrested, but thankfully we were able to diffuse the situation, that not being the case!




























































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































