Astrið's Diary: 26th October 1902

The next chapter in Astrið's story is here! Read about her adventures and misadventure from 26th October 1902 below, and you can check out her full diary here: Astrið's Diary

Waking up at the cabin, I headed over to Emerald Ranch to check in on my new clinic, light the lanterns and such. Almost as soon as I got finished getting the place tidied up for the day ahead, did I look out the window and see Daniel emerging from the Bunkhouse. I went outside and greeted him and we went to check telegrams together.

After a brief visit from Sam, a group of men walked up to the telegram office. The telegrams at Emerald station can be a very risky place at times – Daniel and I watched on as the men went about their business. With a quiet sigh of relief, they got back on their horses and left.

After walking to the stables to collect our horses, Daniel informed me he’d taken on some work hunting for the butcher up Strawberry way. A demanding order of 3 Whitetail Deer, in perfect condition!

Stopping in the plains, I managed hunt a Coyote. Not good eating in them but good money to be made from the meat and the fur. Daniel also managed to hunt down a Whitetail Buck.

We set of for Strawberry, with a brief stopover in Valentine so that I could sell on the Coyote I got – lest another Whitetail rears its head and we get a chance to fill most of the order in one swoop! After taking the $20 for the Coyote, we continued our journey.

Sadly there was no more deer to be hunted on route, but we had at least made it to Strawberry! It’s a lovely day for being outside, it’s been a while since I spent any time in Strawberry.

Got a strange telegram from Varek. First one apologising for yesterday – for running out of town without as so much as a goodbye. He isn’t good at handling his emotions, but I understand that. A least he said sorry…..

The next telegram was more confusing, asking about my “bank situation”. I assume he was asking if I have a positive bank balance – probably wanting me to hold onto some money for him. I let him know that I could.

Daniel headed over to the Ranger station. No familiar faces for him today, but he did seem to enjoy chatting to the rangers that were there. He says he’s moved on from the rangers, but I think a part of him still misses it.

Telegrams and conversations finished, we set off once more – this time for Big Valley north of Strawberry. After all, the townsfolk are getting hungry and those deer wont hunt themselves!

Arriving in Big Valley we crouched over the lavender (Lucia would shout at me for calling it that, but I honestly can’t remember what it’s actually called!) trying to sneak up on something we thought we’d seen – but turned out to be nothing. Strangely enough, the valley was almost completely empty of wildlife – nothing for us to hunt.

Walking back to our horses, Daniel stumbled upon some graves by the stream. Curious, he read the epitaph marking the graves. Of course, I already knew of these graves: Kuniklo had taken me here to remember his friend Robbie Gold….

Reflecting on the epitaph, Daniel wondered aloud what it must be like to be a criminal and to live that life. I couldn’t help but smirk – but of course he doesn’t know I’ve lived that life. Not nearly to the extent of Robbie Gold and the others buried here, but I’ve been chased, I’ve been hunted, and I’ve been the one to do the chasing and hunting as well…

I started to tell him about Kuniklo taking me here. A pilgrimage of sorts as he introduced me, and warned me, I suppose to this way of life. I didn’t get very far into my story…..

Suddenly Daniel interrupted me. “Astrið – I think we need to leave….. and I don’t think we can go back for your horse”. Not understanding what he could possibly mean, I turnout around to see several large shapes running out from the treeline.

Taking out my binoculars, I could hardly believe my eyes – grizzly bears! Numbering six or seven – and they were running straight for us!

The bears were almost right on top of poor Grátt when he finally spotted them and began running towards me. With barely 2 metres to spare I grabbed his reigns and threw myself onto the horse.

Daniel was safely on his horse and I could see him making for the road. But I couldn’t get to him – the bears were driving a wedge between us. I had to run down the centre of the valley to get away from them. Oh god, what is happening?

Barely making any distance from them, I raised my rifle and shot the closest bear three times – once in the head. It…… barely even flinched….. Worse still, I could see it’s skin was bloodies and mangy, with several holes through the skin – I….. I could….. I could see it’s muscles…. Oh god, they’re just like the horses from the other day!!!

Riding for our lives we eventually lost them in the trees leaving Big Valley and made it safely to Strawberry. Out of breath and panicked, we bee-lined straight to the Rangers office to tell them what we saw. They hardly believed us……

Before we could even catch our breath, Bluestone came running into the Strawberry medical office carrying several of their own, injured. We had passed them on the way into Strawberry, apparently mid-shootout with a group. With only the local doctor of Strawberry and Daniel (still a medical trainee) around, the two of them sprung into the doctors office to help the injured.

I turned and held onto the railing. I felt my grip on the railing get tighter and tighter in anger. I mean, come on! How stupid is this! I have all the skills to help, all the knowledge, all the desire, yet I am not allowed to help in any way simply because of the specific building they are in….. Ordinarily I wouldn’t care, but there’s lawmen in Bluestone and I’d probably be arrested in a heartbeat – besides, it’s not like they don’t have no-one to help.

But that doesn’t help my anger…..

Daniel and the local doctor turned their attention, one by one, to the next patients, working down the list of priority injuries. I could hear Lucia inside. Crying, clearly trying to hold herself back from screaming out. From what I could overhear she’d been badly burned. I gripped the railing hard, my anger getting hard to contain. This whole situation is infuriating, and not being able to help is killing me!

A brief distraction appeared with Flood’s partner. Obviously having heard what happened, she’d arrived to see how he was. I tried to compose myself, lest I embarrass myself in front of her. Suddenly, amidst shouting and gunshots in the distance, we saw something moving over the bridge……

Two snakes, bigger than I’ve ever seen in my life, crossed the bridge towards us. Bannað veri, what is happening with the wildlife these past few days!!! I took my rifle and began trying to shoot them.

I lost sight of one snake, but my attention was fully focussed on the other which was trying to slither its way into the medical office. Myself, the rangers, and whoever left from Bluestone that could still hold a gun took up positions and began unloading shot after shot into the snakes – yet nothing we did seemed to make a difference!

Eventually I landed a shot clean through the beast’s head and it dropped dead.

We turned our attention to the other snake, but it seems it’s slithered its way out of town. On the way back to the medical office, I checked on Grátt – miraculously unharmed through all that. Oh my poor boy, he’s had quite the day as well!

I went back up to the porch and after a while longer Daniel emerged – shaken and exhausted. That was a lot for him. But bless his heart, he saw me, tears in my eyes, gripping the railing with anger – as hard as that was for him to deal with, he knows it’s hard for me too.

He…. He actually put his arm round me to comfort me. I let out a sigh and tried to relax a bit. I told him he did a really good job dealing with all that.

Still with Daniel’s arm around me, who else turns up at the porch but Varek himself. Great… I hoped he didn’t get the wrong idea and kick off about it – but thankfully he didn’t! Daniel looked awkwardly between us, obviously unsure of Varek, before announcing he had to go to telegrams to write reports on what just happened.

Before long, Varek stepped away to grab some food, giving me some time to think about what to say. I want to pour my heart out to him, how much I care about him, how much I want him back. I thought we were getting closer again, but him talking after Jon’s funeral about Deputy Love….. I just don’t know.

Varek’s back. I asked him if he still wanted me to hold onto some money for him – he said he didn’t, that instead he was just going to spend it on something big so he wasn’t holding onto it.

He asked me how I was feeling after yesterday, if I was still “carrying that day with me”. I told him that the funeral was just yesterday, so yes, I was still reeling a bit, but it was good giving him the best sendoff that we could so in time it will pass. I asked him how the service was, and explained how much of a struggle it was – putting on a service for someone when you can’t ask them what they want….

He started talking about Love again. Repeating what he said last time about his trepidation of hitting a bank, getting into a shootout and she turns out and that he couldn’t shoot her. As his emotions started rising as he talked about her, my heart sank into my boots. Hearing him talk with that passion about her hurts.

I tensed up as he continued to talk about her. I think he noticed my silence, and suddenly the conversation came to a crashing halt. With a lump in my throat I turned to him. I wanted to ask him. I wanted to tell him that I loved him, and I love when he laughs, and spending time with him – and if there’s place left in his heart for me, or does all his passions lie with Love?

And yet I don’t want to overstep my place. After all, he broke up with me and told me he doesn’t want to speak with me. Maybe I should just remember that and bite my tongue…. But I don’t want to. Should I say anything or not? I got more and more tense, just looking at him, but in the end he got tired of the silence and rode out of town as I watched on.

With no-one around I let out a frustrated scream to release all that tension that was building, then headed over to telegram to see Daniel.

Report writing done, we had both had enough of Strawberry and the North end of West Elizabeth in general, so we set off southbound towards Blackwater, through the woodland. The light was filtering through the trees – I’d probably stop to appreciate its beauty if we weren’t watching the shadows lest those damned bears came back.

We stopped off at Fort Riggs to pick some mint. At my complaints of only being able to find 2 mint plants, Daniel helpfully showed me where to find 3 more!

Mint in pockets, we continued on to Blackwater where Daniel was going to lay his head for a little while. We crossed the river, ever vigilant the whole journey in case any more strange happenings happened with the wildlife. Thankfully, we made it back to Blackwater without incident.

Daniel had barely gone to bed for 1 minute when I got a telegram from Miss Peregrine, saying that Lucia needed my help medically up in Valentine. I got on my horse and made straight for Valentine, meeting Peregrine in the Telegrams. We walked over to the medical office where Lucia was – my heart sank knowing I could get in trouble if she is in there.

To our surprise, no-one was there. Peregrine reasoned that Lucia had already been taken into the treatment room by the doctor.

I stop off at the Saloon for a drink – I very much need it after the day I’ve had. Hearing footsteps behind me, a familiar voice asks the barkeep for a drink as well. It’s Lucia. After finishing off our drinks I take her on my horse and we head out to my new clinic in Emerald.

I don’t have a chair in my new clinic – maybe an oversight I’ll need to resolve, but the resourceful Lucia made a chair of a box in the corner. She unwrapped her bandages and I got a look at the burns covering her arm – from elbow right to tip of her fingers. The dead skin had been cleaned away so I have the gave the wound another clean and wrapped them in aloe bandages to cool and protect the wound.

I inserted a needle into her good arm and gave her a saline bolus to help replenish her body’s fluids and nutrition that would no doubt be being lost through the burns. With her constant squirming I asked her if she was in pain. Turns out in all his skill, the local doctor never bothered to give her any painkillers. I drew up some Morphine and gave it to her.

Treatments all done, we headed back to Valentine. August is still injured and she wanted to be close to him. My heart sank again. The duality of my life strikes again. I like Lucia and care for her. She either doesn’t know it was Varek that was there when August was gunned down, or doesn’t know that I still speak to him. Oh how’d she’d hate me if she knew I spoke to him barely a couple of hours ago.

Arriving in Valentine, our conversation continued and she said I knew a lot about medicines – half the medicines in my satchel she had never heard of before. I realised that Lucia had never seen my book. Of course, I was long fired from the department when she arrived in The Crossing. I took it from the bank and let her read it – she was pretty impressed!

With Lucia heading away to see August and no-one else in Valentine I headed out and found my way to Rhodes where the Pavee were out and about at their camp. There was a even a rare appearance from Mr Mick Murphy himself – and Dani and Leo Fantoni.

Elich, Tibbs, Jane and Peregrine were all there too. We chatted away for a while, and I took a quiet moment to let Peregrine know that I’d seen to Lucia.

After a good catchup with everyone – except Mick and Elich I suppose, since they were away talking business, as usual, I said my goodbyes and headed towards Blackwater as Daniel had telegrammed me to say he had woken up again.

Arriving in Blackwater he wasn’t there, but he did say he was continuing the hunting in the Great Plains.

I didn’t find him in the Great Plains either, but I did find a deer on my way to Strawberry – even manged to keep it in perfect condition for him! After meeting with him we began walking down to the butcher to sell the deer, and on the way we were passed by Deputy Bishop.

Daniel cheekily asked Bishop if he’d ever arrested someone for throwing a dead deer at a deputy. Haha! I didn’t expect that from Daniel at all, and Bishop wasn’t ready for that question. His expression souring, Bishop replied that no he hadn’t but he would if someone did, and implored us not throw a deer at him

Still laughing from that exchange, we continued on the butchers. The butcher was very happy with the quality of the deer – only one more to get and Daniel completes his waybill!

Relaxing, we went for a walk around Strawberry. I always forget how beautiful this town is. Day or night, when I stop to take in the sights of the town it is simply stunning!

We stopped, once again, to chat to the rangers – another ranger Daniel didn’t know. Ranger Yang Jin. He seemed nice. Pleasant to talk to, but not one to tolerate fools, as we saw when a man named Grover came over to wind up Daniel. We then headed out of Strawberry to hunt that last deer for the butcher.

Daniel was so funny, he just couldn’t get that ranger’s name right! He makes me laugh.

Down near Karrigan’s ranch, we were on the hunt for the last deer. In the distance, on the farside of the ranch, I spotted a pack of wolves massing. With the temperatures starting to get cold, they’re getting more bold. We decided to gun them down before they went for the people that were hanging out at the ranch itself.

Not able to find a deer, we returned to Blackwater to collect payment for the wolf carcasses and pelts and got some good money!

What else would I possibly do with the earnings than head to the Blackjack tables to lose it all – and lose it all we did! We were joined by the very same Mr Grover who just couldn’t get Daniel’s name right. However, as we all lost just as Sheila joined us, Mr Grover decided the fastest way down was jumping the railing. That did not end well……..

Injured, Daniel and Sheila carried Mr Grover to the medical tents. All the winding up he’d done Daniel was in no mood to treat him, but I pointed out that they were taking him to the one place I couldn’t help. They continued on and sure enough, in the medical buildings I had to let Daniel help the man.

Sick and tired of Mr Grower and Blackwater, we promptly left for Valentine. I saw that the Valentine Church was looking for someone to make up some brownies for this Sunday Service. Excited to try out my new Brownie recipe I was happy to accept and we went to the general store to fetch some ingredients.

Now on the hunt for ingredients we headed over to Emerald for some milk and eggs. Eurgh, I CAN NOT get used to milking cows. Yet, I’m somewhat grateful Lola and the Black Hats taught me how, certainly helpful now that Milk isn’t easily available in shops anymore

Unlike at the Blackjack table, our luck was in with the deer on the way back from Emerald, and we hunter ourselves two deer. Change of destination for us, we’re going to Strawberry to get paid!

As Daniel handed the deer to the butcher and talked payment, I went to check telegrams. I got one from Varek asking why our conversations always seems to end “like that”, with us getting frustrated and looking at each other. Wanting to say more but never can.

I told him there was things that I wanted to say to him, but I’m not sure that I can, that I’m not sure it’s my place. But I didn’t really tell him why…..

Daniel could immediately tell that something was off when I came back outside. He tried to talk to me about it, but I shut it down. He doesn’t need to be burdened by my troubles. Not missing a beat he pointed out that we hadn’t pasteurised our milk. I said I didn’t know how, and with a sweet smile he told me he would show me how.

Heading just outside of Strawberry we set up the fire and began pasteurising the milk, him walking me through the steps. Just as we got finished we were approached by a group of riders. I immediately recognised Lola and Varek – it was the Black Hats. We chatted briefly and Daniel introduced himself to them. I went to talk to Varek, he seemed intentionally stern, quiet. I asked him if he got my telegram, he said he had. I left it at that, and the group rode away.

Daniel said they seemed nice. I told him that they are, but they are also very dangerous. Slightly confused, I told him he’d just met the Black Hats – a gang.

Ingredients gathered we descended on Valentine to cook up and deliver the brownies. Getting late, Daniel put his head down for the night.

Alone, I went to go check my telegrams. Seems Varek was upset by my previous telegram……

I replied to him saying that’s not what I meant – that it’s not that I CAN’T say them, just, I’m not sure I should, that it might cause offence or upset to him. He replied quickly saying that I should just come and tell him to his face how much that I hate him instead of hiding it from him……

With storm clouds brewing overhead I knew I couldn’t see him straight away. I telegrammed him back pointing out he’s being antagonistic and that’s not how I feel. I said I would meet with him after the storm and we could discuss this face to face – after all, our telegram exchanges almost never seem to go well…..

He telegrammed back saying that that would not be possible, that the law had used to cover of the storm to surround them in Annesburg and he’d likely be taken! SHIT! I couldn’t let them hurt him. Storm clouds be damned, I set off for Annesburg as quickly as Grátt could take me.

I pushed Grátt to his limit, but it was too late. By the time I got to Annesburg they had surrendered. Only Lola remained, and she had no guns. Seeing me, the law closed the door to the Sheriff’s office and hunkered down. There was nothing we could do…… DAMMIT!

I rode with Lola, and I had to ask, why was she out here but the others weren’t? Turns out she’d taken a deal. She was in the middle of doing some legitimate business with a coal trader when they were surrounded. They let her go complete it under the condition that once it was completed, she turned herself in – she agreed.

After all, if the coal wasn’t delivered then people couldn’t stay warm, cooking would be harder – the good people of The Crossing would suffer. They did, however, take all of her guns – even her binoculars!

As Lola sorted her wagon with the coal, I sent a telegram to Varek. I….. tired, I really tried, but I just couldn’t get there in time. I don’t even know what I could have done. Maybe been enough of a distraction to let them figure something out? I don’t know…..

I decided to accompany Lola on her coal deliveries. After all, with no gun, if someone tried to take the wagon and or its cargo from her, she’d be powerless to stop them. We set off on the deliveries.

I don’t like wagons, but she took offence at me saying that I was terrified of her. I think she felt I was implying I was terrified of her riding the wagon rather than wagons in general.

As we rode, I told her the story of why I was terrified of wagons – the accident that almost cost me my life, the accident that had me living in the Rhodes Medical Office for 3 weeks, that left me walking with a cane for a 6 weeks. She was completely mortified and apologised profusely. I told her it was ok – she wasn’t to know.

Our next delivery took us up into the mountains. “Dammit Lola” I said, “You could have told me to bring a jacket!”. She apologised, the both of us laughing. But this was a strange place for a coal delivery! No way we could have taken the wagon up here.

After a good walk we arrived at a small mining encampment high up a mountain – even now there was snow lying on the ground! These people would have suffered badly without the coal the heat their bunkhouse!

After dropping off the cargo, we headed back to the wagon and continued our journey.

OWCH! Oh god, what a disaster! While riding the wagon, a rider travelling the same direction as us turned into our path. Lola tried everything to get out the way, but it was too late, the wagon struck him and his horse, killing them both instantly.

Worse still, the momentum carried our wagon off the road and into the trees. Crashing, Lola and I were thrown hard into the grass. Except for some bad bruises and scrapes we were both, thankfully, alright. Sadly the wagon was destroyed.

We set off on foot. Heading towards…… actually I can’t get my bearings, I have no idea where we are. We’re just completely surrounded by trees! But Lola seems to know where we are going so I’ll follow along with her.

Ah ha! Somewhere I recognise! After a long time of walking we made it to Big Valley. I’m glad I came along! This place can get very lousy with wolves and even bears – as Daniel and I saw earlier. We headed to the Hanging Dog Ranch for the last delivery.

As we walked, I told her my story. I think we’re alike in many ways. She’s sociable, smart, and we share common misgivings about the law. Maybe that’s why we get on so well….. I told her about the first time I ever went to Sisika. I even told her the truth: about how it wasn’t me who pulled the trigger, but I was the reason why the man died and the other almost died.

I’m not sure why I did that….. I almost never tell that story. Hell, I’m not even sure that Varek knows! But…. I enjoy spending time with Lola. Maybe I let my guard down. I hope I don’t regret it – if the law gets wind of this, I could very well go back to Sisika!

We made it back to Strawberry, but there’s still some walking to do! The stables in Strawberry are located out of town, but thankfully Lola does have a horse there!

Arriving in Blackwater, the law wasted no time in surrounding Lola to bring her in. 4 armed deputies on horseback for little unarmed Lola…. Seems silly!

I followed the deputies back to the station, and I enquired about Varek. On the way to Blackwater Lola told me that she’d had a telegram from Norman that Varek was sent to Sisika.

I spoke to Deputy Dani Jackson, who knows both me and Varek, and asked her about how long Varek was in Sisika. She said not long, he was only sent to prison for a few days. Stange…. I wonder if they don’t know about his involvement in August’s injuries? Oh well, I won’t say anything!

Now on to my next problem…. Both Grátt and Myrkur are currently stabled in Emerald Ranch, I have no way of getting there! Particularly after another wagon crash, I have no desire to get on another wagon, and I’m too scared of unknown horses to take Lola’s horse back to Emerald.

I did ask Deputy Jackson if should could take me back, but thankfully Charles and Maeve came down the street after doing some hunting – a much better choice!

They were happy to take me back home, and we set off for Emerald. I hopped onto Maeve’s horse and we set off for Emerald. After the day I’ve had, I must say I’m very much looking forward to bed!

On the way, Maeve apologised for missing Jon’s funeral the other day. I told her not to worry about it, her health comes first, always! Charles already knows where Jon’s grave is, but if she wanted me to take her there someday, I’d be happy to take up there.

Arriving at Emerald, I used this opportunity to show them my new place! I said I was struggling with the wording I should use on my sign. They were curious about why I couldn’t call it a “private clinic” or refer to it by any kind of medical terminology.

As I was showing them around inside, I was explaining to them the stipulations by which I have to operate. I can’t call myself a doctor, nurse, or medic. Charles asked what I’m calling myself then. I explained that I am still calling myself a doctor, just not doing that in front of the law.

I continued to explain: I have to make it clear I am not part of and have no associations with the Department of Health. I cannot take on any employees or otherwise consider myself a group or organisation. Anyone who uses my services has to be offered to be treated at a department of health premises and has to give their consent they want to be treated by me instead.

Charles took it upon himself to come up with names that I could call my clinic. He settled on “Astrið’s Horse Piddle”. Maeve and I both turned and looked at him like had completely lost his mind. But with a grin on his face, he started repeating the words faster and faster until the words blurred together and it sounded like “Astrið’s Hospital”. I burst out laughing when I realised – Maeve clutched her head in response. She married him, he must get like this a lot!

I do really enjoy their company. I’ve seen them a lot recently and I hope to see them more and get to know them better. In any case we started saying our goodbyes as they got ready to head back to Blackwater.

Oh god, another disaster! A wagon came barreling through Emerald at stupid speed and it caught Charle’s back. Getting caught under the rear wheel, he was dragged underneath the wagon through almost the full length of Emerald before I was able to catch up with the wagon and throw the rider from it. He was hurt, Maeve picked him up and we headed back to the clinic.

Back inside I tended to his wounds and gave him some painkillers. Nothing some rest won’t fix! I explained that between Charles and my other patient today, I’m almost short of medical supplies – Charles and Maeve thanked me, and kindly offered that if I ever need someone to “acquire” medical supplied to let them know and they’ll help out.

With that, Maeve helped Charles onto her horse then they set off for Blackwater. I hopped onto mines and headed back to the cabin for some much, much needed rest!

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Astrið’s Diary: 26th October 1902